SUPkathleen

Summer ain't over

2010-08-29T22:32:00.001-07:00

Chilled with the OG and regulars after the 1st of week of school. It was the best. I missed them x)

OG SUMMER 2010.

IT'S CATCHING ON !

cute.

Love them !

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

OH I ALMOST FORGOT..

2010-08-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

Surprise ! I cut my hair, thanks to Angel and all the guys who held my head down x) I love my lineup !

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Last few days

2010-08-21T12:24:00.001-07:00

Summer is sadly ending ;( BUT I'm making the best of these last few days like, going to the beach with my fam CFBC !

reading on the beach.

Jia being a boss with her stingray-ed foot, still up and running.

Lidiiiiia.

YOUNG $$$$ !

Space cowboys.

Steal the bacon !

Reyes boys.

Injured vs. injured

Best rap / improve / dance battle ever !

I'm really blessed with all of them.

_______________________________________________

THE NEXT DAY WASSSS , Coffee With Christ ! Last SLYM Summer event of the summer.

no pics up just yet, next post forsure though.

Our original preformance for Variety Show. BTW I'm the one with the knee pads x)

Since a lot A LOT of preformers didn't make it to CWC we had a much smaller amount of people.

This was our Coffee With Christ preformance and last time we are doing this set ;( BTW I'm the one with the knee pads x)

OKAY SO THIS IS THE STORY TO THIS PREFORMANCE ! HAHA This is the "OG Witnesses" The original ones. Their 1st preformance that I saw almost 1 1/2 ago was AMAZING, after I saw it I knew I wanted to be a Witness. So they really inspired me a lot. The grey shirt they are wearing are their original shirts it says "I am a dancer" but dancer is crossed out and says WITNESS instead. and when they take off those shirts, those are our new shirts for the year and it was a huge surprised to everyone. This preformance was so funny and it ended a good night of coffee with Christ.

I just want to tell everyone how blessed I am and how happy I am God kept me with SLYM and CFBC this summer in safety and having one of the best.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

haaaay

2010-08-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty surprised that this last week of summer is being really good to me :)

Happily spending a lot of time with these kids.

AAAANDDDD .. In my next post, I GOT A SURRRRRPRRRISE FOR YAAAALL !

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

That's life

2010-08-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

I guess I just feel like typing right now so yeah, hah.

Well today we had "Spirit Day" , a new annual event for St. Lorenzo. It was pretty much Ultimate frisbee, Volleyball & Kickball vs. SLYM, SPYM, SEAS, St. Christopher, St. Martha & St. Paul the Apostle. Woke up at 5 AM because I had to help set up at Creekside park. Pretty much running on barely any sleep, but I was too pumped to be tired x) Well the day was really great, SLYM DOMINATED IN GAMES, although it did get a little "too competitive" , we always prayed after that we leave it on the court and think nothing of it. Then we had the biggest water balloon fight with 2500 plus the other ministries balloons, it was CRAZY. AND FOR ST. PAUL THAT PUT PICKLE JUICE IN THEIR BALLOONS, THAT WAS DISGUSTING -__- NOT COOL STORY BRO. haha, pretty much soaked after that. Great fellowship and it's great to see other ministries building bigger and bigger :)

After, Mark Torres dropped me off home, got the car and picked up Kristine. We had a date and had Quickly & Cocary. Had some talks, it has been awhile. Some goood stuff.

Attractive.

Michael's not cute legs that I want to shave -__-

Beast..

Mode.

No game whatsoever -_-

Favorite picture x forever amen.>

"Pray hard 24/7"

SPYM has great cheers, LIKE REALLY GOOD. HAHA.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

There will be a day.

2010-08-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

SOOO, In the past week, we had VBS - Saddle Ridge Ranch and although as expected, the numbers of kids grew smaller again this year, it didn't take away from how great God is through working through staff and everyone there. I want to thank for Kuya Leon and Ate RJ for being great teachers for the week :) LET'S TAKE A JOURNEY YAAAAALL FTW ! Great lessons and it reminded me of how great God is and we can't be TUMBLEWEEDS AHAH ! Well I really praise God for the week.

On Sunday I went to Alexa's YG @ St. LR and the Gospel and pretty much message was that we have to be ready for Christ, our group did a skit on this. We all rode in a huge bus and we had to choose roads to take to get where we were in life, because the roads you take will effect the outcomes. But, we all wore seatbelts so we would be prepared for anything that life my throw at us. So, we have to be always ready for Christ's 2nd coming because if we aren't then it will effect our rising to Heaven or being left behind because we were blinded by our sin.

Anyways, afterwards, we went to KingsWood to eat like beasts, then went to Andrew Soledad's house and just sat and talk to Tita Connie for an hour while Andrew picked up everyone x) We were otw to Harvest Crusade :DDD and we tailgated everyone and played "hell" in the car -__- sweating like a beast. So, we met up with pretty much everyone and had a great time hearing Greg Laurie preach and MercyMe & Steven Curtis Chapman play :) The crowd outcome was just breathe taking to look at, surprisingly, right at the beginning while we were singing, I felt just all the love in the stadium and God's and I felt like bawling, I TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP IT IN, but just a few tears fell down my face. Harvest was just amazing, seeing all these hearts touched by Christ's love. He is amazing. And this song made me just OADNFOADFAWWHAHAHHAH :)

And I haven't really told anyone this, but I think it can help people like how it does for me. When I drive home every time I go home usually late at night. I turn the radio low on 95.9 The Fish & I pray out loud, like a devotion, going over the day and just praying and thanking him. Speaking out loud just really calms me and it feels like my heart is poured out even more. It helps me a lot.

"There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always."

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Been awhile

2010-08-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

Well I'm just in the mood to post a blog up.

Anyways, this whole week has been "Heaven week" for The Witnesses (our church dance team.) And it's been pretty hectic trying to clean every piece, add transitions and work around everyone's schedule since there is about 20 of us now. But, if you are wondering why we call it "Heaven week" is because since Hell week is always the crunch time, in that time, we grow closer to one another since it gives us a lot of time to bond with each other so isn't that a blessing ? Then it's not Hell, but Heaven week. By the day before the show on Friday my wrist started hurting a lot, but I wouldn't cry about it or anything, and followed by bruises on my shoulders and hip (Breakdance piece) , but minor pain won't stop me from dancing on stage with my family. On Saturday, we showed up at Assembly Of God, (A Christian church in Covina AND IT'S LIKE A BLOCK AWAY FROM CFBC !) most of us actually weren't worried or anxious, but Neil's speech before the show just hit the heart, gave the chills and knew we were here to show our talent of dance which is a prayer to everyone in the audience and to God for his glory. We heard after that the piece was so clean except for 2 little parts, and then we new our hard work was paid off. I PTL for The Witnesses and him just showing us that every preformance tells a story and "I Can Only Imagine" how great this one was. On stage we were surrounded by His glory, and our hearts felt to dance for him and have the crowd in awe be still.

Video will be up soon !

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

I could be better.

2010-05-24T19:17:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if you actually feel as crappy as I do. But apparently at 10:29, you clearly didn't.

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyways,

Just dropping with all lil' someeeeething,

Final "Beyonce- Halo" preformance by The Witnesses

ANOTHER PREFORMANCE SOOOOON @ VARIETY SHOW THIS SUMMER !

School = summeritus . 7 days left ! >;)

_____________________________________________

Other note, I really liked YG this week. "You can't teach someone God, you show them God." We have to be like "heart burn." Set peoples' hearts on fire for God ! And also, when you say FML, God says FML. "Feel my love."

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Keep Calm and Carry On

2010-05-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

Most emotionally unstable week ever.

nuff said.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

~

2010-05-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend consisted offfff:

Ron's house.

Jam sessions.

Saint Martha's Fiesta.

DD.

John's apartment sleepover.

Justeez's birthday kb.

Lame stuff.

etcccc.

_____________________________________________

On a darker note..

Struggle, struggle struggle. Trying :|

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger.

Lights.

2010-04-25T19:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend consisted of

- CFBC Acts of Faith for the Church's anniversary.

- TM workshops

- Straight up chillin'.

______________________________________________

Anyways, it's hard keeping up faith when temptations smack you in the face.

Well, TRUST in the Lord through it.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Empower.

2010-04-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

My 3rd Youth Rally, but my 2nd one with SLYM.. and the 1st one I actually cried at. I came here screaming my butt off for our church showing pride and threw my cool card away. Dancing around outside, singing Justin Bieber, sitting on the tallest people's shoulders and sweating like haaaaail. Then we walked in, having fun and being here with about 700 people to show our faith and come to know and learn more about our Christ. Witness talks, Rosary Rap, enjoying the day. Then all the Witnesses in the skit got ready, we all were excited / scared. Ran through the skit and had a prayer circle. The prayer really reminded me of when Pastor Ed said before "Acts Of Faith" -- "This is for Christ and this is for eternity." Which meant to all of us, all out no matter what. We chilled at the back of the hall, and then everyone was like "WE NEED TO CRY !" so everyone tried making themselves cry, haha "can I have $10" skit. But, I knew that my character SHOULD be crying. A drug addict who doesn't know what to do anymore, that is sick of the drugs and turns to God for the answer, the last hope. So, I tried and I couldn't do it, you know how you talk to yourself in your head ? yeah THAT WASN'T WORKING -_- so I walked a lil' father away from everyone, and whispered to myself out loud. It ran through my mouth like It needed to be heard by my ears..

You have to convey to the audience this is real life, people go through this, this performance can change someone's life. You have to be the God in others life and show them that God is waiting for you to call on his name. So why are you doing this ? Why did you get put into Neil's group, but after was transferred to Jason's because of the breaking part. How come you were put in the SLYM then put into the drug addicts.. then It came to me. I needed this performance just as much as those kind of people in the audience. I constantly fought with myself on which was more important to me the drugs / alcohol or God. It was repent and forgiveness 1 week, then temptation was in your face then you suddenly didn't care. Then you wake up and realize what you have done, repent then do it all over again. A circle. World fighting against your Faith. I thought of all the times that Christ gave me so much, AE, SLYM, CFBC, brothers & sisters in Christ and Youth Rally. I realized how much I played my real role on stage. On stage I was the drug addict to the people, but I knew that wasn't acting. And we finally turn to God for the last resort. We are lost, hopeless, but he's always been there. I finally see that I was put into Jason's group for a reason, God was trying to help me show others that Christ will fill that hole in our hearts, and for me to realize that I can't keep putting drugs and alcohol in the picture and putting my pocket God back in my pocket. I was so overwhelmed because that was the most mysterious thing that God actually revealed to me.

As we all tried to make ourselves, I came back to the group, balling. Not fake tears, but the real tears. We went on stage, while we were on as drug addicts, I bawled. But when we put on our SLYM shirts, I smiled so much, with tears of joy in my eyes, knowing that I acted my story and other people's on stage. I knew he did all those things for a reason on that day.. and I'm so happy.

____________________________________________________

Later, we started adoration. Having worn baggy / torn up jeans on stage, I got bad rug burns on my knees which meant it hurt so bad to kneel. But, I knew that I had to kneel, it was needed. They asked people to come up and grab a candle and kneel in the hallways, without hesitation, I got up. I grabbed a candle and knelt down once again. I felt the worst pain in my knees, but it was worth it. I looked down and the candle, and I saw the image of AE candles. Mascara was running down my face, and at that moment I couldn't believe how Great our God really is. This was one of the most amazing adorations, I felt Christ was there, and he was saying it was okay, I love you and forgive you.

Don't let the fire die, and be empowered to do His will.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"To the 15 year old Christian."

2009-12-29T11:01:00.001-08:00

This guy posted this on Tumblr and I wanted to share it on Blogspot.

" (To lay off the subject of you being a bisexual which I dont think would go against anything, but still going to be on the subject of Christianity)

I’ve been going to church since I was born. Baptized, asked God to forgive me, become a “newborn”, etc. But now while growing up and changing, I’ve noticed some changes in my faith with God. It’s weird for me to say ‘faith’ and ‘God’. Anyways, I’ve also been going to those camps and stuff. Everytime I go, I end up crying and feeling guilty for my sins. Then after leaving Im back to my old self. Being sinful and not listening. Now, I see you on Tumblr and it seems like you’re the only Christian I find real nowadays. Even if its over the internet, words can explain a lot about a certain person. My real question is, besides all the reading the bible and praying daily, what would be the best way to seek God. As in, how did you personally meet God. Im only 15, but I really want to find out if He’s real or not.

Well of course praying and your Word is essential and it’s important in being spiritually grounded. It is necessary for having any type of relationship with God. Because our spiritual food is the word of God and our spiritual exercise is obedience. And prayer or communication is foundational to good and growing relationships. So talking to God is key! Keeping Him involved! He wants to be involved in every aspect of your life!

Knowing you’re Christian and that you brought up “newborn” and even talked about church camps. Then you know that Jesus died on the cross for our sins right? Well first off you said you cry and feel bad for what you’ve done and yes I’ve had my share of those retreats and camps. And the spiritual high right? And then falling away after. I know for me I didn’t read my bible, didn’t pray, didn’t really acknowledge God and that’s why I fell away. What about you?

Anyways I hope you know that God loves you no matter what, I can’t stress that enough. But also that whatever sin you commit, it’s nothing. If you asked for forgiveness and repented then you know that God instantly forgave you. No sin is great enough to trump what Jesus Christ did on the cross for us, remember that alright? Not even your sin! So know that you are forgiven if you seek it and that after you’ve done that it’s in the past and God has forgotten it. He doesn’t hold our past against us like people do.

So to your question of how to personally meet God? Well it basically starts with a relationship. Have some faith, have some trust. You know talk to God like you’re talking to friend. Ask Him, “God if you’re out there then give me some sign…” Ask God to open up your heart, Ask Him to communicate with you some way, and then keep watch to what God does in your life. HAVE FAITH THOUGH! And the more specific the prayer, the more specific the answers will be! But pray according to his will. Don’t ask to be a millionaire or some illogical dumb thingy alright? I tried it doesn’t work LOL!

I remember being in your position I asked God, “If you’re real, then show me. I want more of you God, but I’m confused. I know there’s more to you then just what I’ve been doing.” And he answered my prayer by sending my friend asking me to come to her church. I don’t know what He’ll do in your life, but you just have to remember to have faith. Have some trust! The relationship is key though, he’s your father! your best friend! your lover! if you just let him in and allow him to be those things though. Forget what the world has to say and believe in God."

This is a good reminder to all of us to not get lukewarm in our desire to grow. yupyup :D

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Stumbled upon

2009-12-20T11:07:00.001-08:00

http://knowgodknowlove.com/

& Found, "God is your match-maker.."

Read & Enjoy.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Thanksgiving / Black Friday.

2009-11-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Ugly pictures = Axle.

THIS IS WHERE THE UGLY PICTURES COME IN.

So I took the camera back x]

Favorite Picture of the night.

Secret Santa.

Casey wasn't there so we made her wish list for her x]

Told Khay my secrets. "You know me better than you think you do !"

THEN BLACK FRIDAY..

This nikkkkha picked me up at 5:45 -_-

Fashion consultant of the day.

++ he's a perv -____-

Bounced to Best Buy.

-_- not even me.

ROFL.

Bounced again to Sam Ash.

Jake Shimabukuro face ! xDD

Bounced to Walmart, paccccked.

_________________________________________________________

There are the times when you know you have to trust in God's plan.
He knows what's he's doing.

2 Corinthians 6:14-

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

18 & older, independent.

2009-11-23T19:13:00.001-08:00

ALTHOUGH, this may seem many years away due to the fact I'm still a 15 year old highschooler, I'm pretty stoked for when I'm able to go to CFBC every Sunday, and finally get baptised Christian. I know it's a LONG ways away, but I'm gonna be patient with my family and pray that many heart's will be soften to my decision. AND, I remember Pastor Ed saying, "It's not about the religion or church, it's about your relationship with God." SO GOOD. Lately, it's been getting harder with my "undercover Christian" status x] , but as the trials get harder, I know God gotz myzz backzzzz. This is gonna totally jump to something else, but who cares.. xP I really praise God for his work in people and the maturation I've seen with myself and other brother's and sister's. It's really good to see everyone grow and are eager to share God's word and glorify him. RIGHT RIGHT. I know, I'm really thankful for my church family. I know my my really family isn't really family, and although sometimes I feel really discouraged for not having a real family, I remember God has blessed me with CFBC. I just want to remind everyone that God is good all the time ! He has a plan, and gives you hope not to hurt you, but to help you. Sometimes are minds are just so self-wanting that we forget that in the big picture, God has plans to help, not to destory. He shows us our suffering should make us strong, and not destory. AT SUNDAY SCHOOL, I like the anolgy our teacher gave saying..

We are like a gingerbread cookie that God, the baker, has created. And we run away from the baker to go to the Bakery to be with all the other gingerbread cookies. (We push God away when he's wanting to help us, and run to our sinful ways.) The Store owner says that you have to pay for that cookie if you want it back, you can't just take it. (Jesus had to be our ransom for God to accept us back.) The baker pays the owner for his cookie to re-own his gingerbread cookie. (God lays down Jesus Christ's life for our own.)

Seriously, God gives us millions and MILLIONS of chances, although we are the child and he is our Father, we ask for him to pick us up and slap him in the face. We are only aloud to slap God in his face is because he picks us up to his height. Even though we show him disrespect, he still holds us up. That's the most amazing, unconditional love.
God is so merciful, sovereign and divine.
I'm so blessed I've found him, and no one snatch me from his hand. PTL.

"Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

2.8 GPA's

2009-11-10T21:01:00.000-08:00

When you don't have a family..

Hopefully your friends see

that they become your family.

And family is supposed to stay togther..

right ?

When I'm not crazy..

2009-11-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

"You tell me no one would love you
If they could see deep inside
You say your friends might desert you
If they knew the truth you hide, well
There's one who knows you better than
You know yourself
And he still loves you more than anyone else

Jesus doesn't care what you've done before
How you've rebelled or slammed the door
No matter how far you've run or how long you've been untrue
Jesus doesn't care
He still offers forgiveness to you

For so long you've run from the Father
Into a life of sin
And each time He lovingly called you
You turned your back on Him
No matter if your failures are great or small
There's no way to hide them
He already know them all

How many tears will you cry
Till you cry out to the Father
An honest plea for mercy He will not deny
Trust Him and you're gonna find."

Point of grace- Jesus doesn't care.

At confirmation, we listened to this song after 1 of the 10 worst days I've had. 8% drop in Math, Fighting with bf and bf, getting picked up an hour late, then getting yelled at for Math, then getting angry to find cut knuckles from punching my wall. It was a rampage practically. I felt so many emotions, like "why would a God who loved me, put me through this ?" or "Why does my life such so much ?" I know the answers any Christian would tell me, I even knew the right answers. But, once again I practically said to God, "I know you can help me, but wait let me do this and fail by myself, I got this." Unfortunately, I try to block any sort of reason in my head when hurt. I came to confirmation bitter and "dgafreak" status. We talked about prayer, and how it went through my mind.. I didn't pray to God once during this day, I just damned him. We were also given rocks and sharpies, we were meant to write our burdens on our rocks and lay them at the feet of the cross. So many burdens were happening at the time, so I didn't know what to write, but I wrote the same one I always do when we "burn our burdens".. I know that God is waiting for me to finally take a different road everytime I stumble from a hard day, I have low patience and I really long to grow in trusting in God's plan for me no matter how long it might take. Please pray for patience and trusting in God through all trials. Please and thank you.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Patience

2009-11-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

is hard with-

Failing in School.
Fighting with your boyfriend.
Friends going behind your back.
Family who expect you to be more than you can take on.
Feeling replaced.
A best friend who doesn't understand for the 1st time.
Your hard-headed self who seems to understands, but doesn't take seriously what's yet to come.
Your close-mindedness.
Not applying your knowledge.
Not living each step, each breath, each moment to the glory of God.
Your faith that isn't as strong as you wish it was.

1 Thessalonians 5:14
And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Oh Daffodil yellow

2009-10-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I seriously found this crayon,
and I had to post it up for Kuya Ian !

aha, oh that is all.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Hi Big Man,

2009-10-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not angry anymore, because I've been acting crazy stupid. I see that I can't get out of this circle, I will always been in this lil' mess up, because I'm human. Because I'm a sinner. Because I'm selfish. Because I'm prideful. So Lord, I'm going to try to stop falling into holes, hold on to your hand for it's my strength, it's my comfort, and your my everything. Through it all, the only thing that will ever really matter is you. I always put myself before you, and I can't be the driver because I will crash and crash and crash. Sometimes, I just want to push you aside and undermine your power, but I know that I can't ever compare you to myself. So, I want to apologize and say sorry for harden heart, please Father, soften it and help me live a Christ-like life. I'm still sorta discouraged because I feel really really really dirty, but I can never clean myself for you, I'll always be in my sin. I just pray that I'll encourage others again, read the Good News, just.. find that true happiness in you and not these wordly things. Lord, help me to stop "poking your pizza" x]]] and just turn my heart back again. I pray that I will praise you and just trust in you that everything will be okay, as long as I have you in my heart. Thank you for accountability partners, people who care, and your forgiving heart.
I pray that I'll let suffering make me grow and not destroy. Truly, PTL.

I was saved on Aug. 16th, 2007.

and I'm not about to let God go.

Love,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Not Speaking

2009-10-13T16:14:00.001-07:00

I am not happy with things. Seems like everything has to do with tears & yelling. And now I think I am so used to this, that I've become a part of it. Try, help ? Out of my vocabulary.
God,where are you ?
I'm tired of trying to live this life for you when I can barely see you. Struggling with myself to stick up for you, but the feeling of giving up is starting to grow and grow.

My 100th post

2009-09-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

I just want to say thank you to certain peeeeople, I'm just really happy they look out for me and they are willing to go out of there way to help.. me. Like, that's so cute xP haha, but yeah I'm just blessed for the people that really care and are patient and understanding. ANYWAYS, while getting murderer at Creekside with AmyPhu, I really realized how hard the world is like you can't always be with people from CFBC or SLYM. Like seriously, when they said after AE will be so hard, because we can't always have it Christ centered with everyone everywhere we go, yknow ? I just realized how much God gave me that weekend, how fast the Devil took it away. Well, I'm just happy that I have this knowledge already so I already took that 1st step on my journey to Christ, now it's just let my actions match my passion. Man, won't that be hard. But, I want to give it up to him, Let go of my burdens, and Let God take control. I don't want to steer myself into trouble anymore because everytime I seem to take the wheel, I would "crash", but like God like is skilled closed course status drivers, like Tokyo Drift staus xD WELL I just want to be happy with my realtionship with him everynight I go to bed and every morning I wake up. Because it's a hard world out there, and a lot of people don't know who Christ is, but it's just 1 step at a time. I want to "Let go and Let God" foreaaaliiiiies this time. Give it up to the one I adore.

AND PTL FOR THE WITNESSES ,
GREAT PERFORMANCE !

And to everyone that reads this blog, listen to this song.
Listen to the lyrics, listen to what it says to you.
Celine Dion- That's the way it is.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Sheets.

2009-09-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been taking off this "white t-shirt" as AmyPhu would say in trying to cover my black sinful self. It's a struggle. I mean LIFE is a struggle. And when I feel like reality is such a pain in the @$$, I feel that want to get away from this "reality" forget about everything, just try to be happy. But, oh is that spirtual high hard to get. You have to work for that. But, it's amazing.. short at times, but great. It's honestly so easy to fall, but so hard to get up. M3lissa: "Don't underestimate God, but don't underestimate the devil either." Like, that's pretty scary. Sometimes, I just want to ask "God, are you even there ?" Do you see the struggles and burdens ? Why do you put so much $h!t on my cross ? Like it's hard to have true faith and fully trust in God. 1 "rainy day" comes along, and everything that you've been pushing away to stay closer to God is out of hand. Starting from scratch. It's like baking a cake, and when you finish it perfectly, you bought the almond choco, and your allergic. Like you get so frustrated when you try so hard to work on something, and it goes down the drain. But, that's when you need to have patience and know that all your work will pay off with the sweet taste. But, still burdens lerk, like it's so easy to say just "Let go & Let God.".. but really is it that easy ? Like I know I should just leave it all in his hands and also help myself, but in this world temptation is in your face. I just fear God's wrath espcially because of how my relationship is with him now-a-days.

It's just been hard for me lately to see God's glory, but I know he's helping me slowly. I'm really happy I'm becoming closer to both of my church's, friends are starting to be more like family & that's what I really need right now.

MAN, I WANT TO DANCE WITH JESUS.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Theif of Time

2009-09-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

The exact same order. 4 months ago, things have changed.

M: You said we would always be bestfriends no matter what came between us. But, when you start to drift from your bestfriend and it feels like there has been a wall put up, you start to lose that person. I try to hang with you, you deny it everytime. I miss you. But, it seems like you don't take literal that we have drifted so far that, best friend has lost it's meaning. I make time for you, well at least I try.

C: We will always keep a title. Your my partner in crime, my oldest friend. Too bad there can't be more to it. We will always finish on a good note, and start a crazy one. Thanks.

M: And you. I will never let our friendship drift. Ever. Your more than a bestfriend to me, your like my sister. I just hope that soon enough, you will realize that I'm here for you too. I'm just trying to help you like how you always help me. Don't shut me down, because I have good intentions and I worry that words that aren't spoken will come out in the worst way. I'll always be here for you, I'm just waiting.

J: I wonder how you are doing spiritually, you never seem to talk about it. I hope your growing, just speak your words, and I will listen. We are far, but quiet close.

K: You have grown so much. It's crazy to see someone that pushes themself to get out of their comfort zone. I know it's hard for me to encourage you a lot now-a-days, but I just pray that you'll keep your eyes on God. You have encouraged me so much.

R: DUDE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?! Like, I know we don't talk a lot anymore, like talk talk, but I just hope your keeping yourself safe kid. I got you if you need anything, just know I'm always gonna be here for you. Your still 1 of the only people trust at Walnut. I gotchu kid.

B: Happy we aren't friends anymore ?

L: HAHA. You make days kid. You encourage me a lot too, I wanna be your accountability partner.. but it feels like there is a wall between getting to talk talk between each other. I just hope for the best. And you'll always be in my prayers.

J: I STILL KEEP TO WHAT I SAID 4 MONTHS AGO ! "I LOVE YOU ! <3 We will never drift I swear, we actually get each other xP and your my favorite party boy xDDDD ! HANG MORE !"

Not alot & Little details.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

God is good all the time.

2009-09-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

No matter what sh!t that happening in your life, no matter how stressful, how tiring, how frustrating, how impatient or anything, at the end of it all you look and see it all came out well with Jesus as a our lo-pole <- SP ? Honestly, I still struggle with many problems that I've prayed for years about and still they haven't been answered. But, I still am happy at the end of the day, right ? I mean, I still have a lot, even though that problem can be so big in my life, like a huge tree in the middle of my road, I still get by even though it's a distraction and a so called "alibi".. I don't let that get in the easy way out. I mean, I'm happy. We all struggle with so many different things everyday, but we are able to sleep at night and wake up to a new day. It might still be there, but life will go on until said problem is fixed. You can fix some of these problems, and sometimes, you don't have anything do with them, but at the end of it all.. it's seriously always okay. I'm happy it all comes back to Jesus, I know he has a plan for me. I know he answers prayers for a reason at certain times, I know it will always be okay because he never gives me something that I can't endure. I just have to remember, at the end of the day, it's always gonna be okay if I have Christ in my heart. So, the day that is before me and as I know that time will come at night when I speak to God, I try to live that day for him since he has given me the security of each second I live. I might not be able to comprehend why God makes such things in our lives so hard or so complicated at times, but seriously, it's just really good. Can't explain it, it sucks, but it's all good.

THIS BLOG WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE. I don't even know if it makes sense, so I won't read it over just because :]

"Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Benediction

2009-09-01T18:06:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling with doubts lately Lord. So, I'm going to try pray. I feel like that if I don't pray, I'll lose you Lord.

Benediction- Jimmy Needham.

I tried Lord,
I tried Lord.
I tried hard to be Your good little girl.
Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy.
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong.
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease.
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please.
This can’t be Christianity, it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security ?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities ?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating.
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord.
You died, Lord.
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her.
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Unstable atoms.

2009-08-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

So, I'm afraid. Of what ? I'm not quiet sure. Just lately, there's this unexplainable feeling I get, it can't be defined by words, you'll know that feeling. It doesn't have to do with any relationship, friendship or God for once. For the 1st time, It's all emotional. For right now, I'm thinking a lot lately, I've been really doubtful, and that doubt scares me also. Sometimes, it's not about what I want, but I understand that it's going to be pondered no matter what. Also, I'm being very picky and choosey about certain things, to the point of rebellion just so I can break away from it for 1st time in awhile. All these thoughts, are scarying me. All the tramitizing things feels like they are taking over it all. I'm starting to want rebellion more and more. *sigh. Now what ?

I'm terrified of something I can't explain.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Laaaaaaaaately.

2009-08-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

Just this song, I love it. The end.

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging.

Mhm, yeah.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Goodbye Summer 09'

2009-08-23T17:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanna say goodbye summer of 09' you were really great. This summer was really productive, met a lot of people, grew in friendships and grew closer to the Lord. I'm just really glad how this summer went, although, I didn't hang out with a lot of other people, I'm happy I stuck next to the right people. "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" -Proverbs 27:6. I just honestly realized a friend is someone who encourages you to grow in your love for Christ and rebuke you when you have wronged. I've have realized who is a true friend and who isn't, it's not a bad thing, but it's an eye opener before I let myself fall deeper into the hole I dug myself before. The Lord has blessed this summer in SO many ways, praise him for letting this summer be so amazing. And just a reminiscences of Summer 09' :]

Oh, Amazing Encounter :]

SD Basketball Tournament

SLYM Beach trip.

Wii love Thursday's.

Boomerang Express VBS 2009.

JKMK hangouts.

Stealin' bacon. CFBC Beach trip.

&&&
TOO many memorable dates.

Goodbye Summer,
you've been good to me.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Not without love

2009-08-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking..

You know how it's so hard to keep fighting for your religion while another is oppressed onto you ? I noticed I have 13 Catholic Holy Bible's around my house & I have 2 Christian Holy Bible's. Although there it's 13-2, It actually doesn't matter as long as you study it, right ? The Catholic Bible doesn't say Christians are bad, or vice versa. So why do religions collide ? Shouldn't we be living by God's word ? Actually, it's not a religion, it's a relationship. I pray that someone will realize that. I will not be shaken, just keep trusting in God's plan.

Anyways..

Like how many people said, being a Christian is a full time job, an uphill struggle, but it's a wonderful thing. Finding God has given me so much joy and I found an everlasting comfort. I just thank God for every moment and time he brings Christian's together to fellowship. We truly come together for 1 reason, and it's so crazy how just 1 thing can bring 20 people or 4 million together. I just praise the Lord for him working in CFBC. I have honestly seen everyone at CFBC grow so much throughout the year. PTL for being so gracious.

Full time Christian, Full time servant of the Lord,
Full time family member, Full time friend.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

The Man vs. Man

2009-08-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, it sorta bothers me even if it's 2-1 on this asking thing, but the fact that it's why you would start off with dating a non-believer is sorta weird if you were one, right ? But, you always can assume " oh, I change him or her. " but the fact that you can't change people, they can only change on their own will backfire on you. You see I'm blessed, honestly, we have talked about this A LOT lately, and I still believe I'm blessed. Although, you fit it all expect the most important thing. Being a Christian. I mean, I did witness to you before we started to count the months, but I found out too late that this is sin [?] remember it's still 2-1. I honestly believe, this unwritten saying will bend for us. But, in a way, it's not me changing you, it's God changing your heart. But the fact that you want to know and that you are willing to look into Christianity, is amazing. I believe when you tell me it's for God not for me or us, but sometimes I don't know if you know what is for God and what is for us, like the difference. I don't know if God's plan is to save you, or if it's not.. but I'm just praying that when you hear the Gospel at the Beach Trip, that the message will soften your heart. I just pray that you will hear the good news, and be encouraged to do God's will. I'm not asking for a 1 week transformation to become a strong Christian and I'm not asking for you to convert, I just pray that you will grow in faith to expect Christ as your Savior. I'm really hoping that our Isosceles triangle will soon become a small equalateral. Your in my prayers.

&& I praise God that I was able to speak to Aljay today about the wordly things and I'm really happy he's hanging with the Church to stay away, and I just encouraged him to keep his eyes on the cross and yeah :DD

&&& I really realized how God is mighty to save, like I said today "I don't know where I would be if I didn't become a Christian." and when Amy agreed straight up. It's just so crazy how God chooses this person to go to this church to be saved and he picks that person to go to that church to be saved. Like it's sorta an "awe" thing how his plan for you will always be for the best, maybe you can't see it at a certain time, but God is always looking for the best. Esp., to save you.. just .. wow.

&&&& I noticed today how great God is like, really think about it. The mountains, the oceans, the sun he created it all for us. Like Kuya Yek said "He put the sun 93 million miles away from us, and if It was 1 mile closer, we would all burn." Just meditate on how he gives us fellowship with 1 another, *WOAH DE JAVU !* anyways, God is just so great. He sent his Son so that we might have a chance of Heaven, so we don't burn in Hell. He paid our ransom, he filled the hole we have dug ourselfs into. He is just so amazing to save us, and give us his grace. We don't deserve a single drop of this, but he has given us more than we ever deserve. PTL for his grace, his glory, for being an amazing God <3>

__________________________________________________________

By the way, I can't wait to read this book :]]

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

See the Spark

2009-07-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

So, to a lot of you this might be just another blog of my "change" or "Amazing Encounter" but... this time, I REALLY want it to work, or I seriously clean up my act. I might be fooling myself right now, but I don't need to believe that burden is still on my shoulders, for I have burned it yesterday. It was time to "Let go & Let God" for that burden.. & soon, all my burdens. I still have some of the doubt, but the flame was dimmed by the tears I've cried, and NOW it's starting to build up again. Even though, I've heard the story before yesterday, I started to tear once I heard it again.

So, your in the desert. Your hot, your feet hurt, your face is dusty, you have a heavy pack on your back and the scorching heat is killing you.. you feel like you are about to collapse. Then all of a sudden, you see a house.. you think it's a mirage, but as you come closer to it, you see that it's real. You go up to the house, and knock. At the door is Jesus Christ, he invites you in. Gives you food, cleans you up and let's your rest. You feel refreshed. Your about to just go back to endure your journey once more, but Jesus says you have to do 3 things. He shows you to do a door and says "1st, think of all the people that have hurt you. The people that called you names, talked behind your back, left you in your time of need, lost your trust, hurt you physically & emotionally.. Now, forgive them." He opens the door, and you see all that hurt you. You forgive them all. Then Jesus brings you to another door. He says, "Now, think of all the people that you have hurt in the past, as vice versa to whatever someone has done to you.. Ask for their forgiveness." Jesus opens the door, and you see all the people you have ever hurt before, and you ask each one of them for their forgiveness. Then finally, Jesus shows you too a 3rd door, and says " you have to forgive one last person." and he opens the door. You look inside and all you can see is darkness. You start to search the room and as you go deeper into the room, you see someone far inside. You start to approach the person, but their back is turned to you. When you reach them, they turn around and it's yourself..

You come out and Jesus fills your pack with extra food and water for your journey. You step outside of the house, look back and wave at him as he waves back. And your journey begins once again.

That's just made me realized that I have to forgive myself for the hurt I have caused to myself, friends, and of course Christ. He has forgiven me already, and now I have to forgive myself. I know it's time to move on, because this journey is going to be a long one. There are SO many opportunities God gives me to open my eyes and see that he was here all along. I remember at the end of my burden, I wrote it really small. "I miss feeling close to God, I need you more then ever right now." All my accountability partners, all the people at SLYM, AE, and CFBC are the biggest blessings. I PTL for all of them. I think it's time to come home, where your love has ALWAYS been enough for me.

"But I can still see the spark
of His love in your eyes."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

2009-07-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

THIS IS MY SUMMER !

YAY ! I love Summer ;D

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Maintain

2009-07-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

It's weird.. Is it just me ? I want to believe that's it's only me because then it's better to look at. Maybe it's just for fun right now, have good vibes at night and what not, but when you come back home, you come back to reality. It's more of sad then it could be, because now the words are left unsaid. I'm trying to believe that it is better left unsaid because the words WILL hurt. It will bring another problem back. Or more to say, the 1 down, has just got back up in the game of life. But it's not a silly little game, I KNOW I should take it more seriously, because I honestly fuck around waaaaaaaay too much. I wonder A LOT if this is ever gonna get better. Am I gonna be standing here getting knocked down over and over again. I think now, it's not about me more of other's. If I would take a bullet for you, then why do I get hit and still you get hit too ? And overall why do I stick that nail through your hands over and over again, without ease I do. I'm tired of running away. I'm done.

"You can't go back and start a new beginning,
but you can start today and make a new ending."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Strong

2009-07-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

Varsity & JV girls are in San Diego right now for the tournament, it's been okay / fun, but mistakes have been made already. You say I'm strong.. I know that, but I start to doubt that I am. I honestly don't know what happened, like honestly.. I don't know why. Why didn't I listen to you ? Even the way you told me, "it's your choice" was scary. Because on the spot, it was my "wants" againist being a good influence to you. You probably don't know how much it means, but I know and hit hard, should wake me up. Don't ever be like me kid, I love you too much to see you act as stupid I am.. 2 days left to show you that my Morals mean a lot. Hopefully, you will read this and get the message.

"Promise me you'll always remember.
You're are braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Beautiful Disaster

2009-07-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Kathleen Reichenberger. I don't wanna go on about a life story anything, but I do have a story. I tend to hate the things I let go when I have the decision to grasp it tight, for my happy ever after. This drags all the dependables in to this. The lookers, the real thing is I let them take it on, when I let go they push me to it. I know it's a huge blessing to have at least 1 in a lifetime, but can they always be the dependables when they should know that there's an extent when you can only push so far. It all comes down to my judgement. One of the things that seems to always bring me on my knees is my lack of judgement. I know I can change that, but do I really want to ? My actions haven't shown much progress, and I believe it's time to take all the let go and grasp once again. I don't like to have that alone feeling, literally because 1 second without eyes watching is a 1 second that can cross my mind. I know I shouldn't be doing this for you or me, but for God. The relationships I build up will pay off when they can't tumble down. I used to think the same question, but the dependables care and always care.

"She would change everything
for happy ever after."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Clueless

2009-07-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

I've had a really good week until Thursday, I think I just got really high hopes after a couple of good ones. But, to go on.. I've been really caught up in my 2 sides, I think the other's thoughts are crossing the line of the other's space. I rarely stay on both sides at the same time, but right now it's just a mess of thoughts, and I can't really figure it out. Like it gives off bad & good, but I'm left with this bad feeling, it feels like something is slowly working on me.. but I don't have a clue what it is. Maybe a mess of everything together, maybe it's just nothing & it's just me having another blown out of proportion situation. I can't say much about this because I need to figure out why it's hurting me, I mean.. there has to be more to it, right ?

"Please don't worry about me,I'm fine."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

A Light

2009-07-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

You know, I've been actually really good lately. Things are getting better.. with actually everything, or I can tollerate whatever is thrown at me. ANYWAYS, this was a phone call, and I was contemplating if I should just start going to Bible Study again because it was hard not going.

__________________________________________________________

chelseaaboy: heyyy, um kathleen wants me to ask you for advice for her
Julianthecoolian: sure
Julianthecoolian: what's up
chelseaaboy: about what to do about bible study, because she really feels like shes falling away like ALOT and bible study is the one thing that helps keep her on check and she really feels like she needs it and yah
Julianthecoolian: hmm
Julianthecoolian: that's rough
Julianthecoolian: i'll have to think about that
Julianthecoolian: give me a sec
chelseaaboy: mkk
Julianthecoolian: is she online?
chelseaaboy: nooo
Julianthecoolian: hmm
chelseaaboy: im on the phone with her
Julianthecoolian: okay
Julianthecoolian: can i ask her a few questions?
chelseaaboy: yah
Julianthecoolian: hold on
Julianthecoolian: 1. in what ways have you been falling (you don't have to say thing you don't want to)?
chelseaaboy: kathleen: okay um, the party scene, im not setting an example for others and im hurting my relationships with friends because im not being a light to them and im depending more on other things than for and iv been pushing him away
Julianthecoolian: have you been committing definite sins?
chelseaaboy: definite sins?
Julianthecoolian: i mean sins that you know of
Julianthecoolian: (of course there could be some you don't realize)
chelseaaboy: she said yah, she knows shes sinning and stuff. and she said its hard to turn around like she keeps falling back everytime she tries to turn things around
Julianthecoolian: do you have regular contact with any Christians who you believe can keep you accountable?
Julianthecoolian: (perhaps Joanna, Lidia, or Kristine)
chelseaaboy: kathleen: i talk to kristine and melissa about god alot but sometimes as much as they do rebuke me i still fall away. like i listen for a few days but in the end i always keep end up falling back
Julianthecoolian: have you considered having regular accountability with them?
Julianthecoolian: like, where you set a time to talk and confess your sins, and pray with each other?
chelseaaboy: kathleen: um whenever i need help i come to them and maybe like twice a week i ask them to pray for me and i ask them for their prayer requests
Julianthecoolian: hmm looks like you're already on your way. i suggest you officially make them your accountability partners (either individually or all as a group, whichever is more comfortable) do you understand how accountability works?
chelseaaboy: kathleen: yah i do but then its been hard for them to keep me accountable sometimes because i tend to push them away when i dont notice. and like im surprised that i havent acted up this week with them and its hard staying away from temptations because it seems like im going in a circle even though they keep me accountable
Julianthecoolian: what does your accountability meetings usually consist of?
chelseaaboy: kathleen: they keep me accountable but when theyre not acctually there, i fall into temptation easily. like they already talked to me about it and im realizing that it needs to change but in not 100% sure if im gunna be able to stay away from temptation
chelseaaboy: kathleen: oh and like it consists of just like calling each other and just asking how were doing with god and just help keep each others relationship with god strong but its just really hard when theyre not there cuz i dont check myself
Julianthecoolian: i see.
Julianthecoolian: how much Scripture usually is involved in your meetings?
chelseaaboy: kathleen: um not a whole lot but there is some
Julianthecoolian: ah. that's a big problem.
chelseaaboy: hah she said what does she do
Julianthecoolian: Romans 10:17 "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."
Julianthecoolian: There are two things that Bible study basically consists of.
chelseaaboy: kathleen: im really stuck right now. bible study used to help me with a lot of situations but not its really hard. i even talked to melissa and i was really about to just go and not tell my mom i was gna go. and melissa thinks i really need it.
Julianthecoolian: 1) Scripture explanation 2) Fellowship
Julianthecoolian: While, yes, Bible study is a very good place for those, if Bible study is not possible (which it isn't right now...unless you get your parents permission), then we need to consider ways for you to still get those two things
Julianthecoolian: Praise God, you have fellowship still with Kristine & Melissa. so continue that, and set a regular time to meet. This will show your commitment to accountability and will keep things consistent.
Julianthecoolian: But you still need to read scripture. you can do this in a number of ways
Julianthecoolian: 1) Read it on your own. This you need to do. There is no replacement for this.
Julianthecoolian: 2) Read with Kristine and Melissa. You can discuss together what the passage means (You can get bible commentary to help you figure that out)
chelseaaboy: oh she said she already does both of those
Julianthecoolian: 3) Find a good book to go through with Kristine & Melissa. My accountability partner Andrew Ho and I are going through a book.
Julianthecoolian: Find a good book that focuses on the Bible and helps you understand it. Alex and I can help you find a good one.
Julianthecoolian: 4) Also, in your accountability meeting. Discuss and figure out what things are triggering you to fall. Is it the party? Is it a person? Is it an object? Then figure out ways to eliminate those triggers (Don't go to the party, avoid that person, avoid that object)
Julianthecoolian: Talk to Kristine and Melissa and have them help you figure out what it is that's making you fall over and over again.
Julianthecoolian: If you really want to stop, you are going to have to learn to eliminate those things from your life
Julianthecoolian: Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,"
Julianthecoolian: Even if it's not an absolute sin (like a party), it may still be a weight, something that's dragging you down or making it hard to run the race for Christ
Julianthecoolian: If you're already doing these things, and still it's not working
Julianthecoolian: then do it more
Julianthecoolian: Pray more, talk more, read more, cut more triggers out
Julianthecoolian: You may even have consider changing your regular hangout group
Julianthecoolian: have to consider*
chelseaaboy: kathleen: yah um iv been trying to stay away from certain groups of people and like yah just to try and avoid those scenes
Julianthecoolian: That's good. But if still you're falling then you'll have to do them more. You said you're not setting a good example at parties...well, why go to the party at all?
Julianthecoolian: Maybe you miss out on a hangout, or even an opportunity to evangelize, but if you only end up setting a bad example then it's better you not go at all
chelseaaboy: kathleen: yah i'll keep that in mind.
chelseaaboy: kathleen: thanks<3
Julianthecoolian: anytime

__________________________________________________________

It feels good to know that so many people have my back. SLYM, CFBC, JKMK, Best Years, etc. etc. Now it's just my turn to keep this state of mind.

"The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."
Isaiah 40:8

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Life Stories

2009-07-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Like I always say, "I have to tell you my life story" blahblah, by reading one of my friend's post, I just got a reality check. So, it's time to let go of mine.

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"I guess im the only person that doesnt really have much of a life story. I dont have emotional devastation, because i have never allowed myself to be emotionally attached to a lot of people, just immediate family. I cry in front of friends, but i try not too. I never opened up to many friends, only a few. I dont cary many secrets, but just black spots on my conscience. I dont have burdens, just worries. My life story is not at all comparable to degrassi or some other canadian teenage drama. It just consists of a big mess of worries, blown out of proportion. Worries that other people wouldnt really think of that jog through my mind at night.

Im not about to spit some emo crap at you, because thats not me. When i smile, its genuine, not a mask. I dont hurt myself for relief, but i will say that i have hurt others around me, for nothing. I push away friendships and instead keep steady aquaintances. I am not about to tell you that you dont know the real me, because thats a lie. I feel like im not a person of layers. You dont need to know me long to figure me out. But im not about to let you bully me, or be my friend. I am always floating in the middle with people in my life.

With everyone i know, there are no strings,

but sometimes i wish there were."

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This was more than enough to make me realize.
Thank you Paige Montojo.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Surprise

2009-07-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am surprised with this whole situation, even though it shouldn't be a big thing to me. The past is the past right ? Get over it, is what I would say. But, for me, I have to look at this situation a lil'l differently. Honestly, I put SO much trust in to you, and I knew that you wouldn't break it. If you felt that way before, you should of told me, or shouldn't have lied to me. If you were doubting your decision before, you shouldn't have told me you were happy picking me. I know I will get over it, it's just that I'm butthurt. I really thought YOU wouldn't ever lie to me or anything in that sense, I really thought you were different. And you keep telling me that you are, I believe you .. and I know everyone makes mistakes, I just wish you would of told me instead of hearing the day before the month.

I know your trying to make this better, I just need a day or 2 because having your mindset on something and this was the 1st real big problem that came upon us, I have to adjust, because this is bound to happen again with either you or me creating it. When I talked to John or Melissa about how much I really want this to work, I wasn't lying. I know we still have to work on this, we are still on different levels. Just know I want this as much as you do. I set standards for a reason, and I know you came along for a reason. All I need to see is that you just don't say you want this to work, I want to see it. We just have to work this out.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"I know"

2009-06-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

So everything, and I mean EVERYTHING has been on a bad note lately. I suppose things would of got better because I had people backing me up through anything, but I make bad decisions. My decisions effect my relationships with my friends, best friends & God. I know that I do not make good decisoins more than half of the time, but the problem is that I already know before it happens. I know that I'm creating drama and problems. I know in general it's a step back for me. So if I know, why do I still make bad decisions ? N/A. Honestly, I don't know why I don't stop, I mean my best friends hold me down & it hurts when I hurt them, but in the long run, I'm hurting my relationship with God also. I know everything that comes along with this.. but I never seem to learn. I'll say I don't wanna, but under the pressure I will. I change my views when I'm at church & when I'm carrying the world on my shoulders. I want to be true to myself & show everyone how I REALLY feel, but at this moment I'm really mixed up on everything. I need to stick to my values.

There's not much to say now, because it's hard to find my answers to this without going through pain. I want to stop taking steps back, for good.. but those are just my words. I need to see my own actions too.

And the sad part is how 1 of you told me, that you used to be so encouraged by me because I would read my Bible at school or spread the Gospel just like that. I used to have the spiritual high all the time, and I loved it all. I was so smart, till .. "When did I start acting like this ?" I want to be a good friend for the first time in awhile, I need hold people down like how they hold me down.

I need to turn to God.

"So many people care for you, and I'm praying for you."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Take the lead

2009-06-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

Lately, it has been weird, akward & hard. Like someone told me before, I have to get my life straight. But, I wonder how hard the impact of the situation has to be to really stick. I honestly, believe I was hit so hard to the point of change.. apparently, I wasn't. My steps always seem to fall on the wrong road. I always ask myself why do I have to take the road that leads me nowhere, when I can go down the road to happiness ? I never seem to give myself an answer.. I just let it go for the mean time. Of course, who doesn't wanna be happy ? But, there's practically 2 types of happy, so which one do you choose to be ? I never seem to give myself answers, and I don't like accepting answers from others even though I crave it. I know change for me is a hard thing to take in.. fully.

I'll try my best now to look on the other side, PTL more often, and just be happy that I have accountability partners. They are here for me, look out for me & worry about me.. So why do I still put myself down ? Changing is a hard thing, it's a process, so for now.. I'll take 1 step at a time. Baby steps, but I'm moving forward and leaving the things that I don't need now.

"I hope you know I try."

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I know we've been struggling, honestly I think it's because I've been going through alot lately + PMSing -_- , I just want you to know, I just want to be able to be your best friend & girlfriend. You always seem to surprise me Phan.. like I said, I need to take baby steps through everything now.. I just ask you to be there for me when I fall. Thank you for everything <3

"It's like catching lighting, the chances of
finding someone like you."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

HI

2009-06-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

Goal: Make at least 5 videos
this summer >;D

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Amazing Encounter

2009-06-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

These past 3 days was honestly, the best 3 days of my life. I've learned so much, I've learned to open up, & I learned to make a 180 back to God. This blog can't sum up how blessed, how amazed, how thankful I am to have SLYM .. my new 2nd family. Each day, I cried buckets of tears.. but tears of joy & tears of hope. I know now that God brought me to AE for a reason, I know he put me through all the doubts & trials before it just so I can really realize that I need him more than anything. I was so amazed with how much love was in that church, and how each hug made me cry even harder. Although, I was hysterically crying at the pew alone, I know God was right next to me, comforting me. I really needed that box my Mom gave me, I really needed to know she was proud of me.. I was so overwhelemed. Thank you SLYM & espcially thank you God, for never giving up on me.

I'm coming back.. for good.

LOVE,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Stop & Stare

2009-06-11T00:36:00.001-07:00

I can type up a bunch of BS & give you that feeling that "Motion City Soundtrack- Everything Is Alright" , but honestly, everything is not alright. I always seem to give off that vibe in blogs that I'm just dandy.

Nuff' said for those who don't know me on that level.

But, anyways, I've been really bi-polar lately & it's been really aggravating on my mind thinking of how people can take my sh!t, since it always seems like I have 1 problem after another, but that's least of my worries of right now. Although summer just started, I know I'll remember this day, I threw everything out with my "idgaf" attitude, like people say "I always get what I want". I trust a few people, but trust is a whole different thing then knowing. That sorta hit me today. "I know." But, how can people know this situation when I have no freakin' idea how things became how they are. I cried twice today because of 2 different people for the same reason, but totally different topic. You see 1 of them is the understanding, not afraid to cuss me out & say I'm being stupid. And the other is the sorta understanding, advice, easilymakingfun of one xD. But, I trust both of them & love em'.

I can honestly say, I have no idea what's going on with me now. I can say that this is just another epidemic that I blow out of proportion, but for the first time in awhile, this is been the hardest thing struggling with my self.

Vunerable.Lost.Confused.Tears.

"I just want you to be able to live with your choices in life,
and know that I love you."

^lost of voice.. in 2 different situations.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

I love my life

2009-06-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Nuff' said

^ screaming your head off = losing your high voice during chorus.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Waiting

2009-06-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

At first, I didn't really think much of it, just another phase for a bit.. until. But, I decided to look more into it, I made a promise to myself & I'm starting to learn how to keep promises to myself & others. It's a virtue, a moral, something that just means a lot to me because, if I can't keep promises to myself, then can I keep to others, or even how can I trust myself ? But, thankfully I'm not in that situation anymore and hopefully not anytime soon. This helps me inch closer to that natural high & keeps me from throwing it all down the drain and take steps back. Honestly, I'm starting realize that I always seem to take 1 step forward & take 2 back, better realizing before it's too late then never right ? Well, I can say, I've been there & done that.. (even though that sound so wrong xD) But the fact that I know I've "been there & done that" & am able to push that stuff away & cling to a new beginning, gives me that satisfaction that slowly the Old Kathleen is coming back, for the better. I don't know, but I just feel better & I know that it will help me to become better, good choices follow with good actions.

And that's why I have a purity ring.

P.S.
Everyone at CFBC & Bible Study, I miss you guys alot. Bible Study kept me on check & gave me a good thing on Friday nights. Hopefully, we will be able to PTL together soon. &&& Thanks for showing me truly who is Jesus Christ, if I never went, I think I wouldn't have found God in my life. Thankyou <3

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Period: CFBC

2009-06-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

9-18-08

Regenerate- Ingeniously new, made born again. Conversion with faith and repentance. If you have true faith in God you would want to change your sinful self. Justification is that moment when God declares your righteousness. He adopts you into his presences. Santification is when everything we do is cleansed & transfigured by the grace of God. Redemption. Perseverance- endure the goal at the end. All who are truly born again / saved will preserve till the end, doing something just for God. Once you are truly saved no one or nothing can take you captive or fall away from his glory. Don't give up, but preserve till the end. Don't have a show just to impress, but true love for Christ. Death not a punishment, it's a transition. When you reach your goal, what you endured through preserverence, it all pays off. God uses death to finish santification & shows us his glory. Glorification is when Christ returns. And brings his perfect love to the world.

If we are Christians, we can say that we believe that God is "really there," because He has revealed Himself to all men generally by creation and providence, propositionly in the Scriptures of the Old and New testaments, personly in His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and sarilinly through the Work of His Spirit.

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"Just get back up when it knocks you down."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Keep moving forward

2009-06-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I AIN'T NO PHOTOGRAPHER !

Congrats Kuya, graduate of 09 :]

Set up.

Seniors.

09'

Boring Sh*t xD

Cuties.

McBand.

Oh, Your cool :]

PERFECT, LEGIT !

Jumping around xD !

FIIIIAAAAA !

I bought,

those ballons..

with my own money -_- & he doesn't even thank me -___-

Hey Mama.

Creeper holding the ballons.

I'll make man out of you.

GET IIIIT !

Nothing alike, 2 different worlds, and we are siblings :]
P.S. Creeper in the car again !

P.P.S.

BRING IT SUMMER !

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"I could always turn.."

2009-05-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was sorta of an success. Excluding the crying, the breaking of a vase, my mom finding "Joose", my brother finding out of spiking and .. you know what Ria and Melissa.

In all terms it was aiiite, haha just never party at my casa again xD

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You see, I could say sorry a million times and not mean it, I could break promises like they weren't ever promised and I can put something good down the drain.. But, I'm not gonna, I'm starting not to, and I'm so stupid I need to put myself on check. I am sorry, for real. I mean it, I'm not going to let this just pass by me like I've dodged another.. So I promise to stay true and I'm holding on as long as I can. I just wanna be able to be a bestfriend to you and a gfriend. You see, yesterday was a bad time because parties are whack, but whatever you think is the right time, I'm ready to answer, with a yes. I just want you to take me as I am, with my faults and finally let me cry those tears on your shoulder.

Aaron Phan, I think I'm falling for you.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"So you can cry."

2009-05-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

Just another, full of despair and doubts.

Time heals right ? But, I don't think I have that kind of time in this lifetime. Reasons & just hold on to that little ballon that reminds you there is always hope. I'm stronger than this. I just have to realize, what is more important.

And I don't wanna listen to reasons, I don't wanna believe there's hope. Fortunatly, I can keep my head held high for as long as the world is watching. I don't wanna waste my time, running. And I never really thought to myself, enough is enough. Just keep smiling while everyone keeps watching. Once, again I fall back into the category, the mask. A year ago, I wanted to just stop and all that wasn't heard, will be understood and heard. Now, I just like to keep it on for as long as I can. Not embarrassed, I just know who won't understand anymore and it is keeping me safe for the meantime. And then again, I feel like I'm running, but not getting anywhere. Sometimes, I wanna re-write the past to make a better future. But, to be reasonable, my hopes are out of arms reach. Time can't heal the scars and memories of others and myself.

For now, just keep the show going.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Taxi Cab

2009-05-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

Life is like a taxi cab, it comes and goes.

We sit in the back, with little worry. And trust the person taking the wheel is heading to the destination you seek. But, we forget that if we sit in the back and kick back with leisure and not much on our mind, just letting the meter run.. we can't keep control of the Cab. Ourselves, are supposed to be driving, we drive our own life, we get to where we want on our discipline to choose from taking a left or a right or just keep going straight ahead. The taxi cab will always take us to a wrong destination every once in awhile, but it's our job to turn around and head to the place we are supposed to be. The ride of leisure will only last as long as we keep sitting back and relaxing, but what happens after we hit a dead end ? Turn around ? But, what if we are out of gas or the meter ran to high ? What do we do then ? Are we in control ? Were we ever in control of our destinations, the lefts or the rights ? When we hit a dead end, we finally see who was in control of the cab in the first place. Did you seek to pay attention to where you led yourself ? Or did you just let Cab take it's ways ? That's when your judgment makes you or breaks you.

So, now the question is, whose in control of the ride ?

"And may suffering make me grow and not destroy."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Red lights

2009-05-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about my life or weekends lately so, I'll start :]

FRIDAY:
After Basketball I went home because Edge, Junette & Margiel were coming over to help me tell my neighbors about the party next week, but they brought Gelo & Ken too. But, we chilled in my backyard & sat in my empty jacuzzi to plan the party and it seems like this is going to be like the biggest sh!t ever ! HAHA I DOUBT THOUGH ! THEN THERE WAS A BLACKOUT, but it was only 5 xP. After we headed out to tell my neighbors. 1/2 didn't answer their doors -_- , 1/2 were chill with it. We came back and everyone wanted to go sess so we drove to Ken's house to pick up his hubbly bubbly and we had to distract his Mom, went back to my casa AND KEPT LISTENING TO M-FLO-MISS YOU ! -_- WOW BTW I TRUCKED IT ! (I'm so nice -__-) We got back and I think my best sess ever ! so freaaaking fun, but we dropped the set like 3582460715 times and I had to run upstairs while everyone hid and Junette killed it -__- We set up again, but we needed to drop off Edge and pick up coal. I DROVE <3 AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, the shop is closed :PPP Long story short, we picked them up from my house, we went to be stupid in the middle of nowhere, Gelo threw up -_- ON JUNE'S CAR. We had a sleepover at my house for like 30 min., but it was really in my head 3 hours xD. "Why did the guy on the couch not have a shirt ?" -- CONCLUDED.

SATURDAY:
SOO, Junette was supposed to pick me up at 2, BUT someone gets caught up in her "Mean Girls" and sleeping -__- So, I got picked up like at 7, went straight to The Boat for Margiel's & Kristine's PART 1 of birthday weeeeeek. We reserved 50, but only like 30 showed, so that was a waaaaaaaste, we watched the Laker game the whole time, but eyes are a b!tch :P can't see the tv. ARIZA <3 KOOOOBE ! <3 We were there for 2 hours, then we were in THE COLD FOREVER, thinking what we are going to do. I went to the garage because it was warm and we had a little jerk sess. And that's when everyone split up, we went to mall and played NINJA, and I was the only person that got hurt -______- seeeecruuity came to kill the fun. I talked to Kristine's quite Rowland friends, and then we headed out. Plan was to go to my house and just chill, but then Ceejay called and all was good so, we went to her house. They sess, I talked to Kristine, I went inside Ceejay's room & the party died outside. TALKED TO SYLVIA'S MOM FOOOOOREVER ! THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST SH!T EVER ! More people came, I decided to stay for like 5 minutes, then I left with June. Got dropped off 1st. AND RIAAAA I DIDN'T DRINK ! >:] -- CONCLUDED.

SUNDAY:
Plans were church then the Beach, but freaking Edge and June lag it like crazy, so I got depressed because we missed mass :PPPP , they picked me up around 2 and we went to Ron Aguila's house, FIRST SESSION IN FOREVER !! BUT they had to practice for Renissance so they didn't wanna go to Beach, so we just decided to not go and just swim at Margiel's casa **REGRET NOT GOING TO THE BEACH ! ** We went to Taco Bell then Gel's, BUT I RAN A RED LIGHT BECAUSE I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION ! -_- WOW, I KNOW. We got there, Margiel came 5 seconds later. We chilled for a bit, (Btw his cousins are sooooooo mean !) I tanned for a bit, some peeeeeps were doing it in the water xD , Margiel wanted to sleep, but we both eventually went in. I got out quick to talk to Ky-ee-le, I THINK HE LOVES ME NOW !! :DD , we went back to Margiel's, ate cake and Nutella, played tetris, photoshoots. And decided to go buy ice cream @ Rite-Aid, I WAS GOING TO DRIVE ALONE FOR THE FIRST TIME ! But Izzy and Gelo called so we all decided to pick them up, and go to my "top of the world" took pictures. Went to my house and chilled played skate & break so Gelo won't blaze anymore and he lost between me and Izzy, so no more for him :D THEN we started cleaning out my garage AKA ONLY ME ! EVERYONE WAS ASDLKFJALDFJA ;A'DF ! My mom got us pizza and we just watched "That 70's Show" & "What I Like About You" forever. They left around 11:30. Cleaned up a bit. -- CONCLUDED.

THAT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE !

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Smelyalata

2009-05-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

I'll make this straight forward :

M: I'm happy we are bestfriends and your like one of them I still get to see & practically still hang out with all the time. But, the fact that I'm always with you, you influence me alot. And I don't wanna see you get into bad stuff, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite. I just want to have us both stick it through it together. I know it's hard, but we can help each other through the hard times. "We always have enough time for the things we want to do."

A: Even though we never met each other on a certain level before, you mean alot to me. I always could come to you, LITERALLY XD ! But, now things are different and I barely see you, let alone, talk to you. I don't wanna lose connection with you, because there is way too many inside jokes & laughs to let a friendship go. This summer, I swear party @ your house :]

C: HA, we have been getting closer due to the fact that a few weeks ago we didn't even talk for 2 months. I was "busy" I guess, but I always have to make time for my bestfriend. I just want you to know that no matter what, I always got chu.

M: I'm sorry. I'm super blessed to have you, you keep me stable. And your the only one that knows not 97% anymore, I tell you 100% everything now.. if you didn't know. I know how I've been lately.. I'm starting to sound like .. yeah. I don't know, I would cry because I don't know what's happening, but I can't. GAH, I would ask what do I do.. But, I can't always depend my problems on you. I love you <3 nohomo.

J: I'm happy we go to school with each other because if we didn't, I doubt we would talk anymore like how alot of people are with me now. And I know your looking out for me, and that helps me remember that I could I rely on you, even though we aren't close.

K: I'm sorry too. I've seem to become to hard-headed lately, and I know that this might sound like BS. I don't know, it's just hard espcially for me because I act so UGH. I just want you to be proud of me again, I want to be able talk to you again without having that guilt feeling in my gut. You've been looking out for me soo much lately, and your the one that's helping me open my eyes.

R: I know we are that close and all, but I'm really blessed I met you this year. Practically through all this stuff that has came up this year, you were always there for me to talk to you. Sometimes, I wish it wasn't akward status sometimes, or whatever... But, the scary part is that I start to hesitate now before I say anything, because I'm afraid your going to judge me on that.

B: I know we both gave up on being each others bestfriends. But, I know we still look at each other the same way. I've learned as far as we get, we will always be the same between each other. And I'm happy I realized that, I just hope your doing well, and I miss you.

L: I really miss you alot, we could be loud together XD and You were always a good sister in Christ, and it gets to me when I remember that I haven't seen you in almost 2 months. .. Just keep in contact please ? Before it's too late, you know ? I just pray your staying strong.

J: I LOVE YOU ! <3 We will never drift I swear, we actually get each other xP and your my favorite party boy xDDDD ! HANG MORE !

Not alot & Little details. Blessed.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"I hope you know I try"

2009-05-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

I regret my decison, I hurt seeing you hurt, I cry seeing you cry. And the worst part is that I told you and you followed. Maybe, it is the right thing.. but that CAN'T be the right thing, if ends up being the wrong thing. To the point, when we get to the stop light.. then made 4 right's and now we are back where we started. Every word, every waking hour, when I hear & know that it's my decision you fell on, and is now hurting us AGAIN and bringing pain AGAIN and bringing sorrow AGAIN and bringing hate, despair, tears, and everything that you can ever learn to hate in your life. It comes right back to me. And then I just know the answer to the question that will ALWAYS.. and I mean ALWAYS linger in my mind.. "Daddy, Do you still love me ?"

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English Honors Essay Prompt poem..

Leaves Compared with Flowers

A tree's leaves may be ever so good,
So may its bar, so may its wood;
But unless you put the right thing to its root
It never will show much flower or fruit.

But I may be one who does not care
Ever to have tree bloom or bear.
Leaves for smooth and bark for rough,
Leaves and bark may be tree enough.

Some giant trees have bloom so small
They might as well have none at all.
Late in life I have come on fern.
Now lichens are due to have their turn.

I bade men tell me which in brief,
Which is fairer, flower or leaf.
They did not have the wit to say,
Leaves by night and flowers by day.

Leaves and bar, leaves and bark,
To lean against and hear in the dark.
Petals I may have once pursued.
Leaves are all my darker mood.

Time to put on my rosary, Time to put on my shoes, & Time to TRY. Slowly, my prayers are being answered, slowly.. It just takes time, right ? I suppose so, but I'm really afraid.. afraid of the weekend. Don't tell me, you have a choice to go or what not. Because I NEED to go, to face my fears, face it and when in my face.. push it away & turn away. I need to conquer so I can know and see if I'm going to bear flowers & good fruit. Time is the factor right now, I just need to be patient, and wait.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

"I never feel that again.."

2009-05-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

Take time to realize, that you are hurting yourself, your hurting the people around you.. your destroying your life & destroying the friendships that once held close to your heart. I can give a million excuses, I could defend us as much I want, but I'll never win, espcially if I don't change my attitude. I know I'm hard-headed, and I don't have much to defend myself. I'm stupid & young, I wanna adventure, but curiosity killed the cat.. too bad things hit faster than realization hitting yourself. My time is running out, and as time goes by I'm getting hit harder and harder. I try to believe that "I know.. I know" .. but truth is I have no idea, no clue & I just lose myself in words, actions & 2 lifes. I say my words & it seems like I'm lieing through my teeth, and I can't believe I am.. when I don't even realize I'm doing it. That's how far, that's how long it's been.. and that's how much I've been mourning over this. I hate running away from my problems, but I always end up falling into the cycle of my fears & hates, and I guess I've seem to tollerate them. Unfortunatly, these words & this blog won't do me any good, because this is just words & sentances. And they will get me no where, if I don't show any actions.

& to my only accountability partner that isn't afraid to hurt me,
thank you <3

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Labels

2009-05-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

My confirmation teacher gave us a pencil and a piece of paper and told us..
"Write about your relationship with God, do you have one ?"

I started to talk about lately I have fallen away and was scared that my seed has fallen into the thorns. But, I started to talk about how I use to label myself a Catholic just because I was born into a Catholic family. I thought to myself .. Oh, I'm not a bad person- I try to obey my parents, I go to church and pray everynight.. I'm good for God. Until, I finally opened my eyes to God, I finally realized that my label will get me no where without having a friendship with God and following this a heart that is willing. I over looked how my relationship has grown and fallen from the past 2 almost 3 years that I've been saved. Being a true follower of God is hard, especially in High School with all the temptations that hit us. I mean I can't give myself the allaby that I'm human so it's okay to sin, but I just try to not push my faith to limits and see if it will make it through all the temptations, doubts and trials I face. I've seen my faith drop and I've felt that wonder feeling of your spirtual high, and then I noticed that I've written 2 pages about my relationship with God, and I still wasn't finished.. I ended with saying, I've come so close that my heart was open to God throughout the day.. that's why I always seem to come back to the heart of worship.

I'm here to prove that I just don't label myself, but show what I believe is right through my actions, words & not giving an allaby.

"Break my heart for what breaks yours."

I will not fall into the debts of my sin. I'm a part of the next generation, and I will rise up.

"LEARN from the past, LIVE for today, HOPE for tomorrow."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Take this life

2009-05-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

I wanna turn around, but I don't wanna at the same time. I'm falling.. scratch that, I've fallen into the point where I just DGAF anymore. If you know me, you notice I have recently changed.. Not for the best. I miss having fun without the things that give people a good time. I need someone to turn around although I know he is standing before me.. but a friend. It seems like right now, friends go along with it.. my accountability partners. But, as much I would want them to keep me accountable.. I wouldn't wanna turn around. Although, I'm not enjoying the killer headaches + bad actions. I just wanna through it all out the window, because since I was so close.. I always have that lingering feeling that I shouldn't, but I've learn to ignore it. I know this isn't getting me anywhere, I know I'm disappointing people & I'm just digging myself a deeper hole. But, In my mind.. what's the point of striving to get out of hole ? Might as well stay here, right ? But, I know my right from wrong.. I just don't know how to choose from my right and wrong. But, as hard I try to get back with the old, the new is to stay. I knew it would be hard to get on my feet, I just don't know if I'm ready. I need to fall into the arms.

"Take this life, Make it right."

"Father in heaven, forgive me for sinning
I know I need a new beginning."

weekend.. in my opinion right now-- 10/10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

The Feeling

2009-04-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

"Here's my situation
It doesn't look as good as you
My minds over populated
With overwhelming amounts of
Bad news

But once in awhile
I get the feeling that
You could change it all
And maybe its worth a try
I could fall right back even harder
And I might die

Cause when the pouring rain
Falls upon your pretty face
I could paint my entire world
Turn it upside down
And inside out

Cause your smile keeps me sane
And the rest of you just falls right into place

Here's my nervous breakdown
Cause I'm still confused everyday
Your words are far too much to handle
Each and every hour of every day

Cause when the pouring rain
Falls upon your pretty face
I could paint my entire world
Turn it upside down
And inside out

Cause your smile keeps me sane
And the rest of you just falls right into place. "

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Out, but without

2009-04-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

A million words can't finish this post, but I'll try my best.. and the best is to leave it blank. The words that can fit into here is more than I can ever say. I'm stuck finding the words to say, but in my eyes, better left unsaid as of now.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

27 to knock down.

2009-04-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

I
HAVE
A
D+
IN
GEOMETRY
&
MY
MOM
SAW.

I sweaaaaar -_-

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

I'm Most Afraid of..

2009-04-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

Remember at VBS 08', when we were on the back tables of the field and this was according to Kuya Alex a "trust" exercise ? When you would stand on the table and say.. "I'm most afraid of ... , but I know God & friends are there to catch me when I fall." And you fall back so your friends can catch you.

Although during this exercise many made jokes or laughed at how some people almost fell when their friends caught them, ect. ect. But, I'll always remember what I said standing on that table.. "I'm most afraid of hurting the people I love, but I know God & friends are there to catch me when I fall." Even though it's just one sentance, one little thing.. It's my biggest fear.

I constantly get smacked by this fear, because it sometimes drags me into all the accesorries that come with it. I know my right from wrongs, but I don't seem to know how to choose right from wrong. But, I have to admit, that was the first time in a long time.. and it felt like old times. Although, I have to think how it will effect EVERYONE. Sometimes I just get caught up in it all, but I have a big EGO and I seem to not really understand enough to care with a full heart.

When I should be thinking of myself in this situation, I seem to care more about not hurting the people I love.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Babe, To be honest..

2009-04-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

Babe,

I wanna be honest, I really thought we weren't going to last. You ask "Why ?" .. well, I can't give you a straight answer either. You know how you wish for the perfect guy to come along, that can meet your standards, and you finally meet him, but you have that feeling that something is missing ? I knew you met my standards, you are a gentlemen, you think of me before anything else & you respect me for me. You even tried to understand my religion better. Well, I couldn't ask for more right ? .. well that's what I thought too. But, the past week I've had this feeling.. is there even a spark ? And I didn't see us on the same level.. well I didn't think we could connect on a certain level. So, I left you txt messages that gave little hints, I talked to friends about it and all of them said that I should give it time. So, I sat back and waited, seeing if just there would be one time just ONE TIME when I would feel like you were the right guy.

Well, then I woke up today.

I found a gift in my locker today..

In my head at first I was like "aww" because this isn't the first shoe box gift I have got before xD , I believe 3rd ? +++ dead flowers :] But, when I read it in 1st period, I had that feeling. I knew you TRIED to get to know me better, I know your TRYING to make up little mistakes to me, I know your just looking to make me happy. I see, your trying, I know you are.. and you don't know how much I apperciate it.

See, when we were alone for actually 1ST TIME EVER today, I felt more "comfortable".. and when you still give me that Romeo&Juliet sweet talk about the sun, and you say all that corny stuff, I know you mean it. But, I'm just happy your happy with me.. well not with me, but you know what I mean xD I just wish you could be like that with me, all the time. But, that 30 minutes was the best 30 minutes we ever actually talked / spent together. And whenever it gets akward just standing there with you, I start to rub my face or stare into nowhere waiting for a kiss or something XDD THAT WAS SO STUPID TO SAY.

But, this blog is for you. I want things to work.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

On The Fence

2009-04-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

Pardon if I mess up the analogy:

But, remember how your like a seed is your faith ? And when the seed falls on the good soil, it becomes a good bearing plant, which in other terms, your faith grows and prospers. But, on the other hand, when the seed falls on the thorns, at first the seed starts to sprout and suddenly the thorns chock it to death. Which you start to grasp the concept and grow in faith, but you fall.

Right now, I'm so afraid for myself to be choked by the thorns. It has only been 2 weeks and I feel sorta far away.. well from Christianity. And see I've been spending so much time with SLYM [ which is a good thing ] , but the whole Catholic and Christian situation is still .. yeah. Ever since I told my mom, she brings it up for the dumbest things.

She said " I was gonna let you drive next year, but now that you have a different religion, no."
To put in other words, she doesn't trust me and thinks I'm going to be driving to Bible Study. Although, it contradicts everything that I'm fighting for right now, there would be no point to go against my Mom's word, when I believe I should "Honor thy Mother and Father."

But, since I've been talking to more people from SLYM [getting closer], going to Youth Rally, going to Youth Group & upcoming AE retreat. I know I'm thankful because we all come together for the same reason to praise and learn more about God. But, it's hard for me to hold my Christian morals now that I can't even go anymore.

I mean I've been thinking lately, does it matter anyways ? Like one way or another I have the same purpose to do God's will, I mean I'll still believe that Christianity is right, but I feel trapped into Catholism. My mom almost made me talk to the nun about it, she's gonna get the Priest to talk to me.. I don't know. Like, Christians rebuke Catholics and the way they pracitce and Vice Versa, but not everyone is like that, some Christian and Catholics are understanding to each other.

I don't know.. I think that I'm getting pushed back to Catholism, and I'm like just "On The Fence" about the whole situation. I want things to go back to normal, I have little regret for telling my mom, but I have to think that God gave me this trial to learn from.

Hopefully, whatever happens, is for the best.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Encounter

2009-04-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

TODAY WAS :DD -

YOUTH RALLY: ENCOUNTER

Well, let's start off with I slept over Joanna's house the day before and I couldn't sleep at all so, I kept moving around the whole night -__- , woke up at 7:50 and got ready to go yell at cars St. Elizabeth. When we got there, they told us that we couldn't yell at the cars :P so we just waited for everyone to get there, played Ninja & Boom-Chicka-Boom-Boom :DD We had cheer battles & got SLYM pins to give out and make new friends :]

Other Ministries came like St. Philomenia, MHCC, etc. etc. We went all out dancing around, seeing Candice Benetiz :D and other kids. I just screamed the whole time during the rally just to let you know. We had a guest speaker about how she "encountered" God, had some prayer time, AND SKITS SKITS & then came lunch :] Made new friends, went outside to play games again. AND AND AND WE WERE PLAYING NINJA AND I MISSED DALE & I HIT THE PLANT POT SO, I STARTED BLEEDING DDDDDDD; We just chated forever till they called us back inside.

Then we all changed seats to pump it up because MHCC was killing us in cheering, but praise God for their spirits, it was their 1st year at Youth Rally too. Had some more skits to finish off " Truth. Mercy. Hope. Love " Then there was Addoration which was really touching & everyone was crying. They had the mic open to people and their stories, I really comtemplated about going up and what I was going to say, I went up and came to late because they had to cut the line... I really thought what I was going to say needed to be heard because I knew alot of people would be surprised. But yeah.. Just the first person whoever talked on the mic just hit me, everytime someone said another story - it hit me. +++ The Hope Skit, hit me the hardest, I tried to hold back my tears, but how can you when 3 / 4 parts on stage was your life ?

" I first encounterd God over a year ago, when I was feeling so alone and no one was their for me.. to the point where I fell into a depression. My friends weren't there for me, my Dad was abusing my Mom & everynight I fell asleep to yelling & fighting, and I had no faith in God.. I lost all hope. So I turned to drugs, drinking & cutting.. to find that stability to fill that whole.. but none of ever seemed to fit. And then I was brought to Bible Study, and then there is when I first encountered God, he brang me to Bible Study to hear his word, he opened up my eyes, he knocked at the door of my heart & that was the first time I ever let him in. They became my 2nd family, they took me in.. I felt better. Ever since then, I've been strong in my faith and looking to grow more and more. I praise God for all that he has blessed me with, and he truly gives me hope throughtout every trial that is thrown at me. "

We after went to the Divine Mercy Mass. Me and Bryan were trying to sing, but we lost our voices so we kept cracking while singing xD After mass we had the giving of the spirt award and MHCC won. But, one way or another God done us good today, making new friends and growing closer to him. We all kept jerking and playing games, and ended up eating dinner at AppleBee's. Playing the "A, B, C" game.. EFF THAT GAME !

Well overall it was a really good day, I'm truly blessed God brang me to go with St. Lorenzo for Youth Rally. "TEACH ME HOW TO PRAY ! SPREAD THE LOVE , YEEEE MAN ! "

And I know for a fact, this isn't the last time I'm going to encounter God :]

10-10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Po-Po-Poker face

2009-04-13T16:05:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a bit, but the I'll just say the latest..

Yesterday was Easter so I went to a party after mass with my family, but after the basketball game my Mom wanted me to go with her to visit my Dad.. of course, I didn't have a choice to say yes or no. On the way there, I was flipping through all the radio stations and I decided to go on 107.9 Christian Radio, "Here I am to Worship" was playing so I know the words, of course I'll sing along.. I think my mom was a bit surprised I knew the words, but she never really shows anything actually.

We arrived and walked in. My Dad, as usual, was rambling on and on which is just whatever and I had the biggest urge to just say I'm Christian, even though I didn't want to say it, but write it in a letter. My Mom asked me to get her book and the candy out of the car, I said okay but she said nevermind, I went with her anyways.

I started saying..
Me: Mom, don't you like it better now that I'm closer to God ?
Mom: Yeah I guess.. Just as long as you keep your morals no drinking, smoking, sex..
I cut her off-
Me: Yeah, I know of course.. but I mean.. your just happy if I'm glorifying God and doing his will ?
Mom: Yeah, but keep your morals.
Me: I know I know ( by this time I already started to tear & cry - walking back to the room )
Me: Mom, but what about religion wise ?
Mom: What do you mean ?
Me: I mean.. just guess.
Mom: You don't mean giving up your Catholic religion ?
Me: .. well, I don't believe in tradition, but more of God's word.
Mom: It's the same, they are practically the same thing !
Me: The little things that you believe in or don't will means alot.
Mom: Like what is the difference ?
Me: (I didn't wanna start off w/ Mary b/c everyone does ) ... Like pergitory, they don't talk about it once in the Bible, the Catholic Church just made it up.
Mom: Yeah they do !
Me: Where ? Tell me, give me a verse ?
Mom:.. I don't know, it's in there ! Find it yourself !
Me: See, you don't know because it's not there.
Mom: What did this Bible Study push you to be a Christian ?!
Me: No, no one asked me to convert .. God pushed me to tell you.

( Long pause, because I was already hysterically crying )

Mom: I told you to you have stay a Catholic if I let you go to that Bible Study.
Me: Well, I can't make myself believe something I don't believe in and you said it doesn't matter just as long as I'm keeping my morals and close. Don't you like it now that I'm closer to God now as a Christian than far from God as a Catholic ??
Mom: Your main religion is Catholicism and I'm a Catholic and close to God.

( I thought to myself all the times I have tried to rebuke her and she didn't once take God's word into hand when I rebuked her. )

Mom: Your not going to there anymore.
Me: Fine, It's okay because I can still do God's will with or without Bible Study.
Mom: Fine then don't go.
Me: I've waited so long to tell you.. I don't fear man over God.. I knew I should of told you..

Like 2 minutes later my Dad wanted to go out and smoke and my Mom took him outside, she passed by me and said "You didn't come here to cry." The rest of the time I just felt this sick pain in my stomach, I didn't make conversation after, not in an angry way.. I just didn't want to.

You know how all the weight was supposed to be lifted off my shoulders ? It feels like worse now. I know she doesn't approve, but I just wish she would understand that It took me so much to tell her. I know It's blessing I could tell her, but I just wish it went better. But, Praise the Lord that I didn't hold this grudge to her, I still haven't talked to her yet.. I just don't feel like it's right, right now. Even though it's hard to accept, I just need my friends to keep me in place with God. And today my Tita went up to me and said "Why are you miss behaving ?! huh Kathleen ?! " I said " what ?" .. even though I knew what she was talking about." Who told you to switch religions ?!" I walked out because I didn't wanna talk about it.

Thanks for Kristine being there and Kuya Ian, Joanna and everyone caring and praying for me. We will see where God takes me, hopefully he'll open my Mom's eyes and accept I'm a Christian. Pray please ? Thanks.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Painting

2009-04-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

Keep ya updated -

SUNDAY -
I spent the whole day with my mom -_- , we went to Michael's to pick up something to make someone a present :] or a surprise whatever you call it. And then we went to Home Depot to get paint for my room FINALLY ! I swear, it's been 2 years >.< , i wanted 2 colors, dark purple and teal. BUT of course my mom says no and gets all angry about how it's going to be too dark. And so I just got the purple and it came with "primer" which I ended up just with dark purple and a lighter purple and teal ducktape xD.. dude I don't eve like the color purple all that much XDD. But whatever, all day I painted my room and it was so tiring -__-.. My room smelled like paint so I chilled in my Mom's room and we were watching "Saving Private Ryan", but then it goes to a commercial so, she changes it to like this Gospel TV thing and it was pretty legit because it reminded me of my mom because she is always freaking out and worrying and it was like don't worry, God has a plan for you and you just have to trust in him that everything will work out. His plan, etc. etc. I ended falling asleep in her room and I get sick because I stayed in my room too long with the paint :ppp

MONDAY -
Dude efffmylife, today was the boring-est day of my life, since everyone has school, I stayed at home like a little loser :p. I finished painting today and my dad slipped and broke his hip. We got the ambulance, etc. etc. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SEE THE AMBULANCE AND START STOPPING IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE ! -___- My momma dropped me off at my Tita's house and I just fell asleep for like 3 hours because I wasen't in the mood to talk to anyone. I get up and watch Spongebob forever and my mom calls and says that my dad needs surgery and yeah AKA = $$$$$$$$$$$$$. I was like whatever for a bit because my Lola started blaming me that he fell that I should "Check on him" .. wow it's not my fault people are crazy >.>. Joanna calls me up and she wants to visit with everyone and I was like sure whatever. Margiel is driving and Junette, Joanna, Valerie & John Galang comes and we just laugh and I they want me to come with them to drop off Joanna at St. Lorenzo and I was like a HOBO I swear I was wearing a t-shirt that everyone signed, Rincon shorts, and high socks + tsniellas -__-, so I run and get in the car xD. We are going up Pathfinder and there is a cop ! Margiel doesn't have his permit or license, he's driving with underage kids and there is 4 people in the back seat xD WE ALL SCREAM ! Then we end up almost hitting a Mercedes, etc. etc. They drop me off at home after Valerie and Joanna. That's my day practically. Boring, but the kids made it better ;]

Let tomorrow be a good day. Espcially for driving :]

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

R > R

2009-04-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

TODAY ! I HAD A RETREAT @ ST. LORENZO !!

To start off the day, I got dropped off at Paige's house, we watched retarded videos and what not xD , we finally left and picked up Michael. When we got there it was like o_o' everyone from school is here >.< , and I checked in and I got to be a KIWI !! WSSUP !? !? KIWI - KIWI - KIWI !! We were the loudest and cutest group out today :D , they took away all of our cells and ipods and what not and we had an "ice breaker." It was a fruit story which wasen't really an icebreaker XDDD but it's all good.

We got escorted inside the hall thingy and they just started giving us skits and situations and what not which were pretty legit. We started off with "A or B" .. it's like either do you listen or you talk ? or do you spend money or save it ? And everyone went to the A side or B side of the room. After was skits BEST ONE WAS THE BRITTNEY SPEARS ONE BY THE KIWI'S ! :] We talked about self-esteem and our internal and external attributes, what do you like or which you would change ? etc. etc. It was pretty legit, you know.

After was church, we had our Psalms Sunday Mass already and we were trying to sing but we couldn't see the screen :P I only had $6.23 and I gave $5 at the first offering and my 23 cents at the second :] It felt good to be the only kid who gave money :]

We had dinner and I accidently took 1 of the cheese sandwhichs -____- and I wasn't supposed to ! EF MY LIFE ! because they took count for who couldn't eat meat, and the meat look gross. I played break with Mark and We played Ninja like 69 times ! SO FUN :D BUT NOT AT WALNUT ! They interrupted and we had to go make a huge circle and we put these boards and strings for a necklace on our backs and people wrote good things about you on it. I got all " your funny, energetic, good dancer, cute, KIWI" all of over mine. But I wanted just one person to say something like "I can trust you" or whatever, something deep you know ?

We went back in Church and this girl talked to us about how she used to be discrimated for looks and her skin, it was pretty legit. We spreaded out not sitting next to people and took a "journey" to the beach and Jesus came to us and embraced us, we layed our head on his lap and he told us how much he cares and loves us, that we should let him into our hearts. We all came up to the alter and sat, we meditated on how we have to let Jesus into our life, all you can hear in the silence was sniffles and people crying. Of course, it was crazy touching. I loved it.

We all went back to the hall and exchanged numbers and myspace's and what not. It was so crazy how people you spent like 7 hours with can come so close :D , PRAISE THE LORD ! I'm officially transfering to St. Lorenzo :DD We went outside and I met another million people + West Co. people and yeah went back to Paige's, got picked up and went home.

Today was a great day to start Spring Break :]]]

9.5 / 10

Sincerely,

Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Spring break, WOOH !

2009-04-03T23:49:00.000-07:00

Today story of my life I SWEEEEER ! 2 test, 2 quizes + HIGHLITER BLACKLIGHT PEP RALLY !! + NO POTLUCK = RUNNING.

I forgot my nikes at home today, so I had to do conditioning with my vans -_- , not the best idea because we were doing stadium's and I guess my vans are retarded and I was going to run down, but I fell onto my ankle & leg and DIED. NO, I got back up and ran -____- I swear today was crying day on the track. Went back to my locker and found little 8th graders surrounding me asking me QUESTIONS ! >.< and Yes, I just lied back there XD And "youknowwholeft " ;] My momma took me to Jogurt and yeah. Just chilled around the area and took Junette's car for a drive, AND MARGIEL ALMOST KILLED US ! AND I ALMOST CRASHED.. sorta -_- Next week for sure the streets !! Judd was killing it as a bboy now, so I'm inspired to break as much as I can over break and show him WSSUP !?! :] One by one everyone started leaving, Ate Penny picked me and John Santos up :D

Got to bible study and yeah I had to go get the kids from the car to start.
Melissa- "This isn't mine, this is _____ 's jersey. "
Kathleen- "This isn't mine, this is _____'s jacket."
Melissa- "YOU SAID HIS NAME !"
Kathleen- "OHMYGOSH !"

I told her I wouldn't tell her who it was till I felt like I should. Okay it slipped out twice today XDD. We had a real good lesson and then I prayed with Joanna & Ate Melody, after that I really REALLY wanted to tell my mom I was Christian, but I chickened out -__-, went to eat at In-n-Out, but had a DMX rap party in the car XD.. Talked to Kristine forever. And trust you impact me mucho.

Today was okay, but it's always a blessing :] I'm just thankful for the kids that have my back :]]

7-10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Typical

2009-03-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

I thought you were different, but no.
Fuck it, don't give me your words they mean nothing.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Effort

2009-03-30T18:27:00.001-07:00

You used to always give me advice, even if you didn't know if it was good or not, you always tried to help as much as you can. Of course, I give you if you needed it, but it seems like right now you don't need me, not in a bad sense. Now, even if I wanted and craved just a sense of stability, I don't expect it. I can look past all of it.
All that matters, all I need to know. . is that you care.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

WSUP Sadies ?!

2009-03-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

Had a good one. Too many people got their wristband cut off xD , oh well. here's pictures :]

Group pictures in the garage w/ graffiti.

F*ck the other couples pictures, I'm too lazy to fix them xD

F*ck my scanner too + photoshop wouldn't crop out the white -_- FML

I purposely didn't put some pictures up because Aaron has downsyndrome xD
AND Ria can be in our pictures, but I can't be in her's and Kevin's -_-'

The fags.

The girls.

Dude, Eddy >.<

Gross.

sup.

Not cute.

Not cute.

I DID THIS JUST FOR BEST YEARS xD. "Pen15 in the sky."

HA. no.

_________________________________________________________

Reality is a bitch. I can't get over it.

8-10 good day to be alive.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

7 ages of man

2009-03-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

This week has been throwing the worst things at me, but today was a good . . real good and bad day. I got caught for plagerism in English [ I'm still crazy sorry Breanna ] .. we both got 0/75 on it.. my grade dropped 8 %. . but it's okay, that's not really important right now.

And in English it sorta really hit me, the 7 ages of man by Shakespear, it was sorta how I was feeling about that time.. "All the world's a stage," Like really what was the point, you know ? And Just you end up in your 2nd child stage again ... "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." Stages of life just hit you, and more.. life gets harder to the point where life is harder because you have nothing. That's school for yaa.

Nogales, we drove Junette's car, played "forks", Gelo was generous.. dude I love him, he just a great example to how to treat other people even though he doesn't have alot in his pocket. LoveyouJose. xP

Later on in the day, I went to CFBC movie night and we watched "Facing the Giants" .. I never been so convicted in my whole entire life. I cried so much, but the good tears. We had intermition and I knew I had to say something to a certain person, but as soon I walk in the talk.. 1 person left that talk.. I was so "ugh.." for a bit because .. yeah no detail. The rest of the movie went on and I was txting Kristine through out it even though she was like 4 seats down.. it was deep .. alot came out. But, I'm thankful because she rebuked me. I cried again and again, the movie was the best ever. Matthew 19:26, hold onto that verse.

After we hung out Kuya Ian's casa and it was pretty fun singing with Lidia, playing the piano, dancing and attempting the "death crawl" XDD I swear EPIC FAIL -_- Ate Penny took me home and I love Kelly Clarkson I swear XD

Talked on the phone with the Walnut kids about tomorrow which we ended up talking about random things for 2 hours -_- , at least I got to tell them some verse and talk about God a little. Watched George Lopez and called Joanna to sleep on the phone. That was pretty much my Friday.

_________________________________________________________

It did really bother me today, but what can I do ? I wanna be the stronger person, but I never was and it's hard. "All things change in time." .. but I didn't want things to change. Maybe I should just shut up, and let life take it's paths even though it hurts.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Trust.. just trust.

2009-03-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

The worst 2 fuckin' days of my life. No sleep, much thinking done and too much of it.

I talked to a good friend today, about this whole situation, it felt good to talk it out because it's the only and last person I trust. I try not to go into detail because I don't think I'm ready to say what I need to and if she didn't notice, my voice started shaking. I'm thankful for that last person, hopefully she'll keep my trust.

Well, I have the satisfaction that I just don't know anymore. And I've seem to be pushed to "I don't care" anymore. I don't care about everyday, just wake up go to school, basketball, go home and sleep. I've seen there's not a point anymore. When I'm pierced, all the stupid BS and drama just fades just for a few seconds.. it's the only few seconds of the day I realize nothing. You know when you said.. "You only think about it when you want to think about it." ? I do, and I've come to notice that, in my situation it isn't the same. My mind is permanently stuck to this whole situation, crisis or whatever you may call it, issue. I start to rub my eyes every 5 minutes in class because it seems when they are pushed closed, nothing exist, I need to get away where reality can't find me.. it's hard to face facts.

I've gone through a hand full of people that I could rely on. And when I thought for certain, I feel stabbed in the back.. but more in the lower left of my stomach. I haven't learn anything in these past few days, I haven't been myself, I just don't know or care anymore.. well I try not to.

"I don't even know you,
You won't even know I'm gone."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Out of the ordinary blog

2009-03-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

This blog means nothing & everything.

As of right now, my mind is leaning to a state of depression which is caused by everything and nothing that is new. I'm still taking the short breathes of the old and I can't seem to see the new. My imagination is caught on reality as of now, because the death wouldn't seem to leave a tear. I want out of this box and out free where the sky is truly the limit. Nothing is in my control from feelings to greetings, I need something to tell this mind to let go. But, I never got the chance to learn how to let go. I can tell a lie, I can say it's all good, but by now some of you should of understood. Too bad this mouth doesn't speak the words that supposedly some would like to hear because I've learned that my breathe isn't and wasn't ever worth time. I need to find a way to escape to hide eventually, no more sorrow's and stab's in the back. When it seems like I'm the only one standing in the future in front of my fears and tears, I soon have come to know that it's not worth it. I can blog I can on what I have to say, but only a few of my readers will comprehend and realize the point I am making, but these letters that come together for words that came together to make my thoughts won't leave a mark on the ones I intend to leave that mark on. The sunshine is far from my side of the window because the blinds left me shut. I need more than these pity hello's, because I'm the one saying those hello's. I don't worry on this reality for now, because there's no point of getting my conscious into a mixed up mess. I'm taking these apologizes, letters and all msgs and comments and everything that used to be.. more. I'm currently, depressed in my sorrows and used to be's. There's only 3 hands that can get me out, but they can't reach out to me and I ponder why. Why ?

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Summer breeze

2009-03-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

Just to keep you updated on my life:

- I currently have a D in geometry.
- I'm too busy to even breathe.
- I'm currently depressed in the way life is going down right now.

And to who this may concern..
- I wish I could love you like you do to me.
- I wish you could realize I'm through with this friendship.
- I wish you would try.
- I wish your happy with your life without me.
- I wish we were more, but my heart doesn't want to.
- I wish you could hold my trust.

"Baby don't worry, I'm a good disease."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Reasons

2009-03-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

The quikest week ! I studied my butt off yesterday for Geometry, but I accidently forgot to do my Geometry homework >.<, I think I got a B :D.. good enough. Let's skip to 6th period and we had a sub so we jsut sat in class and she totally look like a man XD .. no offense ! But, anyways, I was like "Oh Coach Sandoval lets me leave early to catch the bus." and she was like making crazy stuff up like "Your going to get hit by the bus early" and I was like AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HIT BY THE BUS LATE !? So, she didn't let me leave.. HOE ! So in those 15 minutes I was supposed to be getting on the bus, we found an orange in Bria's backpack and played catch .. THIS WAS FREAKING INTENSE ! Seriously ! Everyone got hurt and it was the funniest crap ever, and Ria was like "DUDE YOU GUYS ARE SOO IMMATURE !" and then she was like "STOP THROWING MUSHROOMS !" WTHECK !? HOW DID AN ORANGE TURN INTO A MUSHROOM !? .. those 15 minutes was totally worth missing the bus because Ria took me to Nogales anyways :p AND IN THAT TIME I DROP MY PHONE HARDCORE DDDDD; I swear I was going to cry ! ;[[

Later, I got to Nogales and everyone was in the basketball courts and we were just shooting around and Tiffany got hit in the head ! XD SO FUNNY ! and Valerie and Margiel were just like trying to match for Sadies.. but they aren't I bet XPPPP. We walked to Chai Cafe and just chilled there, danced a bit and just sat on John Galang lap for like an hour >.< Danced some more, sorta photoshoot and Ron fell down and Tiffany became a mic stand XD.

Time lapse again, Ate Penny comes and picks me and Jan up. Go to Bible Study and I get pissed for confidential reasons and I wanna leave soo bad. I just really REALLY wanted to leave. And we were singing and I didn't feel like I should sing, or I just really didn't wanna. I start txting Junette and I start to get over the fact that I'm not leaving. This was the first time I didn't share my blessings, because my mood was total downer, and alot of people pointed it out. My allegies went crazy and I had to go wash my eyes. We had the lesson and had prayer groups, and I really couldn't pray out loud because I'm afraid of people's judgement even though they don't have the right to judge me, but I'm just weird like that :p

And for Kristine and Lidia wondering why I was either "crying" or "allergies." To be for real, I was crying. I was because I finally got to see my best friend for the first time in over a month. And yes I'm talking about you Melissa. I really just wanted to get a chance to talk to you, like how we used to.. but I knew that wasn't going to happen. And we barely talked the whole night, and I just started crying because I miss my best friend, and I know it's not going to get any better. I have no idea what's going on in your life and we only talk if I make Joanna call you or I txt you in the morning. I just was really depressed because I could rely on you with everything and anything, and now I can't even hold a conversation with you. I'm so thankful Kristine just comes up to me and says I miss you alot. And when I hear that, it really makes me feel like I have one person out there and I got them too. And even though I can't talk to Lidia, I know she has me no matter what + Joanna too. But the one person I always look to first isn't even my bestfriend anymore, it hurts and I just couldn't hold back my tears.

I've lost alot of things before, but this one is the final straw, I can't keep losing people I love and trust. I wish we could still talk on the phone and not have an akward silence... but now we have that in person.

I have my reasons for alot of things, and this one was because I lost someone more important to me than myself.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Summer

2009-03-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

IS COMING SON !
+++++too hot in the stadium today.

I have a bad temper. I don't like being bothered when I'm angry or sad. I need to learn how to control alot more.

I don't feel like talking about whatever I should talk about. so..

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Barney

2009-03-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today was St. Patrick's Day and actually alot of people wore green.

We had late start today, but it was super latestart because of the sophmores :D , we had to be at the stadium for like 45 minutes because school policy or whatever says that we have to be at school for a certain amount of time. We ended up having people play this game "This or That" It was pretty legit because It started off with like 40 kids and it ended up being me and this senior football player o_o I swear so akward standing in front of like 1500 kids and they are watching you :pp Anyways, I had to pick my Walnut pride over DB so I lost, but won $20 :] , big blessing because with the banquit, and both sadies I'M BROKE ! I guess my 1/8 Irish payed off today :] The rest of the day was pretty boring with Geometry, W.History & PE.

_________________________________________________________

Anyways, later on in the day I had Confirmation and the girls big butt was in my face -__- I swear. But like she was like "If your Catholic, raise your hand." And everyone did + my sponsor [ tita] was there because it was a family gathering. So, I raised my hand. She went on and on about random stuff, and she asked the question one more time... I raised my hand. And then she gave everyone 1 minute for meditation, I prayed and I knew at that moment she asked the question and I didn't want to raise my hand, that I need to tell my mom soon that I am Christian. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.

We got dismissed to class and Mr. Jarboe wasen't there ;[[[ So this random guy taught us. And if we had an island the only way you could get on it was if " Love God and pizza " xD . Later on, the teacher asked me, what can I not live without. And of course I said God. Someone that I knew was joking around friendly wise and said "kiss up." So, I said out loud. Maybe God is really the one thing I would need, I'm not going to lie and say something like pizza. Sorta self-defensive, but it was okay. Today wasen't that great of a class, but my luck shot up again and Raffy and Paige call me saying St. Lorenzo's director for confirmation said it was okay for me to go to their retreat :DD .

"Give thanks for the roof over our head."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Fragile

2009-03-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

I know you don't know it, but I am fragile.. I just don't show it. I'm emotional, I just don't show it. I cry almost everyday, but only 1 friend ever saw me cry. I am vunerable, but I'm not letting peole step on me. You know, if you were there on the grass today, that really really really hurt my feelings and I wanted to cry so bad, but I didn't, I'm not letting anyone, ever, mess with me like that again. I rather have those words "Are you okay ?" than you play around with me. Get to know me before you even mess. Thank you to the only person who asked if I'm okay, even though I lied to you, and I'm truly sorry about that. I just didn't wanna cry again. Maybe this doesn't sound like me, but that's because you don't know me. You might take this as a joke, but I learned how to control my tears and for the past month I lost that control. Once again, I feel as if I can't control things that go on in my life, even though I can never do that. "Just let it go." But I myself is tired of waiting and anticipating. I take the small things out of everyone else's perspective, but the way I look at it, everyone word can make me or break me. I'm all about detail and keep those details happy. I don't need more to deal with at the moment so I can put this off, as long as I want. And don't except me to bring a smile to 5th period tomorrow. Hey you can say it was a small thing, but I'll remember it.

I'm tired of blogging.
As of right now: "Your worthless." .. thanks kuya.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

PUNCH IT !

2009-03-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

I practically did nothing today except chill with cousins at a family dinner + new family. +++drama w/ the newly weds. oh and now Pitrizz & Lalique are my cousins in laws.. complicated mucho ? Left to get ready and got to my house and when I came back alot of people were at the party already. Ate .. sorta, and just watchde "Saving Private Ryan" Everyone started coming and we couldn't play "BASKETBALL" XDDDD because Niko didn't have his team *winkwink. Went to the play room and played hotel626.com [ because I wanted to show it to my cousins ] and we kept dieing ! Freakin' Axle & Santi died at the baby party x03486467 times -_-. Went to the backyard and it was freezing, it got really quite and me and Crystal heard something in the forest and we freaked out and ran inside XD. Watched a video while being video taped. Sang Karoke and talked about the clubs :DDD fake ID pleasee ? :D And just came home texting Aaron. Today was a really boring saturday, but I could never pass up a day with my favorite children :] .

6-10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

All day, everyday

2009-03-14T00:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, I hate my life *cut wriistts*blackkyeeyesss ***

TGIF

Today, I hated school like every other day. We lost our scrimmage again -_- and Kat's momma took me to Chai Cafe. We just chilled forever & sessioned, I CAN INVERT W/ WALL NOW >:DDDD and yess I'm proud of the wall ! I kept asking Junette & Tiffany to go to bible study AND FINALLY they said yess :D

So bible study was good, I love it when Kuya Alain sang "The Stand" - Hillsong United ..

"So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours"

It really helped me realize that I am truly blessed with a merciful and loving God <3

We shared blessings and answered questions and then Kuya Alex taught us. And today's lesson was about prayers like if they are strong or not, and I got to write down some good texts from today.

"I pray to God through Jesus with the power of the Holy Spirit."
"When your not praying to God, he is making a phone call to you throughout the day."
"We are never to busy for the things we want to do."
"Fight the good fight in faith."
"When God is with me, nothing can stand against me."

THE WALKIE TALKIE ONE DIDN'T MAKE SENSE WHEN I WROTE IT DOWN DDDD:

so, yeah, keep strong in faith and know that you can have fun learning about God & doing his will at the same time. Praise God for us being able to pray to him, a way to let him know how things are and what we feel, etc.

_________________________________________________________

And to anonymous, I was talking about you today with some friends and I feel like I should be closer to you, relationship wise.. now I do, but don't push it. We don't need a break or gas, just easeee, please. And I think a week soon I'll be wearing Yellow.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Waiting

2009-03-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about what's going on in the way I would always ask Joshuaa Gillard..

"How's life, family, friends, school & love ?"

Life: Just trying to live out the moments that give me a chance to live out. In other words, I really love the weekends, esp. last weekend .. soo, I would love to have it like that all the time, fun & chill. Life has it's moments, but as of right now it's just "eh." I just want life to take me places soon.

Family: Not much to say, we are a family.. trying to be one. "I told myself before, only two can win. This is adjacent to my situation." .. I know you don't understand the quotes meaning, but it holds a lot behind it. Just wanna have a family, a real one, together.

Friends: I don't really focus on this situation now-a-days because it just brings doubt & deceit. I'm learning to understand who is there and who isn't, and it got plain and easy for me to see that. Just the word trust needs to be inspired. Are you there for me, because I know who is.

Love: What's love ? xD As of right now, boys aren't my priority. And I know who's out there is like "what about.. " YEAH NO. just friends, and I'm not willing to mess it up over stupid sh!t.

_________________________________________________________

This home schooled girl that goes to my conformation wrote this on the board in the smallest writing, next to all of the drawing of giraffes, monkeys, and Carmina's house...

"Faith is the love we hold for Jesus.
Hope is the realization of a human being."

That's legit.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Apperciate & Full of it

2009-03-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

Dear is too formal now, Hello is too out of it, I'll start with I feel sorry for you.

I'm sorry that you are a total -ugh- ,but I don't know why she sticks up for you and says your throwing his life away & you turn around and stab her in the back. You need to learn manners. She brought you up right, no excuse, I live in the same house, I live under the same rules & I still say everytime I leave the car "Bye. Thank you & Love you." I don't even remember the words "I love you" came out of your mouth. Being a teenager is not an excuse, Dad isn't an excuse, and school or whatever can't cover. I know right now the guilt is eating you. Not more of how I really don't like you right now, it's more of that you hurt the one person that paying for your car, your college, your bull & she does it without another parent helping her and how you give her so much sh!t. Your gonna regret every word you said and everything you did that wasen't out of respect. The one thing I fear the most is that she isn't strong so much anymore, so what happens if it gets worse ? Your already 18, old enough to move out, and she or me don't need your @ss putting stress on the one persone who literally supports you. "Because there ain't no loans for sitting yo @ss at home."- Kanye West. Seriously, get yourself straight because if you can't even have a descent conversation with any person and not disrespet them, then your just gonna end up like him.

I live the same exact home life as you, I got everything you do. You don't have an allibi.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Good times

2009-03-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday ??

Well, I ate like 69 Haageendazz ice cream till I got picked up because there was no food in my house, It took forever to find out what we were going to do and I just ended up getting ready and txting Margiel till 4. Junette, Margiel, Gelo & Tiffany picked me up and we went to Rowland Park. It was hella fun because Junette and Gelo never went there before so we played "King's Corner" .. I swear that game is my life now :D freakin' proo ! and we just went through most of the "throw up rides" at the park. We got tired of waiting for Ceejay so we sat in the car. Finially she came and we went back to her house. We played hotel626.com and Margiel had the cutest webcam and singing for the came >.< Ate a million fruit snacks and went to Puente Hills Mall.

Ate musubie, boba, sat forever and Prince, Edge, Judd & John came. Ended up eating at "The Boat" and we played extreme boomchickaboomboom xDDD I swear that girl was like watching Margiel go crazy the whole time ! We all shared food and walked to Cue & Arcade Infinity, Played DDR and took fake pictures, raced to Life Plaza's bathroom. Junette dropped me off like at 11 because my madre was home so I couldn't go look at the view and stars :p it's all good though.

I love these days now.. well sorta, I miss you though.
And happy you feel that way too, because I do too, hopefully this Friday will be the best w/o going somewhere else.

7-10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

I'll follow you into the dark

2009-03-07T10:44:00.000-08:00

FFFFRIDAAAAY !

So, I had 3 tests, asked someone to Sadies & basketball practice.. LOOOONG SCHOOL DAY -_-

And after school just sat down with all the little 8th graders that visted and then walked to the bus stop with Joanna. We ran across the street even though the bus wasn't there.. if we used the cross walk it would of been the same >.<

We end up getting off at Nogales and walk to the new place.. "Chai Cafe" that took over Juice It Up, it's pretty chill there :] new hang out ! I changed from no socks to black to pink x] I bought $3 boba there and it tasted like SH!T seriously -_- waste of money, so we went to China Blossom and this guy got arrested like in the parking lot o_o' so GEET - TOOE ! And we just hung out at that area till 7pm and Junette drove us to Nogales to watch the choir concert. It was okay, but literally Rowland owned that show xD After we just ate cold food, took group pictures and talked about how cute Katherine Nguyen is and she got angry at me because she thought I just said that because she said it to me xPP We end up going to BJ's for Anthony's 18th birthday dinner :D

Shot gun as usual :] and we listen to "Saltwater Room" - Owl City like x200 times because of Margiel. We literally sat outside of BJ's for an hour and a half >.> but was okay because we got to play the DS, Assassin & serenade people with "Take You Down" :DDDD After we get in finally with like 25 people, and I get um some chicken potatoe thingy xDD , while we were waiting, me and Ceejay went the bathroom and in one of the stalls someone wrote "Every kiss begins with, KAY" WTHECK ?!?! XDDDD We get our food like 3009578 hours later and I get full hella easily and Junette and Jello end up finishing my food, and BTW Jello you didn't finish my potatoe, I bet you and now you owe me :] Paid like a $16 -_-, went to the restroom with Julliene because she need to take a dump :| and everyone was jerkin' in the parking lot.

Junette takes everyone home practically, and we listen to Saltwater Room again ! We drop Margiel and gave me my birthday present a month late :p, but it's UBER cute :DD thanks bestfriend <33 I wanted to pay Junette because I live soo far, $10 but she wouldn't take it, so I ran out the car :D

Got home all alone and fell asleep watching ABDC w/ Joanna on the phone.
This was a goooood day :]]

9 1/2- 10

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Lost

2009-03-03T17:51:00.000-08:00

I woke up to a really unexpected phone call today, but a phone call that gave me a heart attack. But, that not the point for this blog.

Anywho, I finally see that, I have a hole and I try to fill it, but nothing is going for right now. I know God will, but as of right now.. nope. I talk my problems to my friends, and they help me out, but it's harder when they don't know where your coming from. Too bad, that only friend that I got that went through everything I did is focused in school and everything, but it's good she's not like a crazy person >.< Though, who am I too push away a helping hand ? Well, I wouldn't I don't push away that's fact - because I know the consequences to a friend that will walk straight out and you won't stop them. As of right now, I feel not so much desperate, but I try to be optomistic- that ends up hurting me because keeping a smile is only temporary if it's fake. Crying- just let's it out, but it's going to be there until the hole is filled, I've paid too many tears too many times before, it's not worth it. I've learned not to run away from my problems, esp. with heart pains (literally).. It's a circle that you can't find the circumference of and your stuck in your problems. Maybe the way I'm putting this seems like a joke, but it's no joke when your sick of figuring out why do you wanna just give up & why it's not worth it anymore, but what's worth what ? For my own self, I don't like trying to figure everything out, but when you can't take the sudle fact that your depressed any longer, you have to find out what's up.

"When the world's crashing down,
and you can't bear the thought,
babe your not lost."

But, It's just a thought..

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Let go

2009-03-02T18:27:00.001-08:00

I don't need to prove myself to you, I don't need to give anyone a special treatment, because you aren't all that. Bring your fake talk and wannabe hard self and bring it down a notch. All you need is a love. Taking the tears & pain will all be worth it in the end, trust, your heart will deceive you sooner or later, just let it pass. And grudges you hold won't get you anywhere, in a circle madafact. Give yourself some room and meditate on your life because the way you live it, will define you as you.

_________________________________________________________

"The Man In the Glass"

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you long for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT man has to say.
For if it is not your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back in the glass.
Some people might think you are a
straight shootin' chum and
call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you dear up to the end. And
you have passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of
years, and get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you have cheated the man in the glass.

And to leave you with..

"Life’s too short to be
Living with regrets."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Conflict Saturdays

2009-03-01T10:50:00.000-08:00

I need to pee so bad, but I'll type x]

So, Saturday, very up and down day, mucho ? Woke up, called everyone and we just planned to go to Puente Hills and a movie. So, Ceejay picked me up and at the mall I ACCIDENTLY ate L&L which in my opinion is not fast food ! Seriously :[ it made me soo mad. We ended up watching "Fired Up" SOOOOOOOO FUNNY ! FREAKIN' LESBATRON ! I SWEAR ! XDDDDD It was pretty legit :]

And after I got sorta pissed, not pissed more of .. out of it ? Apparently, so I just was thinking for a bit. We started walking to Guppy House and I was just txting Ria about the whole el situation, haha praise God for her, helps me with mucho :] So we are eating and big drama starts, but then John comes and he talks to me and I start crying :p because I'm just so happy he's back and he just showed me that I should just take it because it's worth it in the end. "I wanna be the air purifier that sucks in all the hate !" Seriously those are 2 friends for sure. And I know I shouldn't be tripping on these things, just trust and know who's there. Very happy after ;]]]]

So we started dancing/singing/taking group pictures and all these asians asked us if we can take there picture xD. Yee yee, after ride to Ceejay's house, 1ST TIME IN JUNETTE'S CAR :D and she couldn't park on the curb >.<>.>

Yeah, got picked up and watched home improvment.

Up and down day, overrall 8-10 :D

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Love Sic pt. 2 + 3

2009-02-28T00:14:00.001-08:00

You made me cry, and I didn't know why I stayed.
I felt like crap and yet every night when I would pray.
I say, I hope we will work out and get better.
Till those days were numbered, in letters,
You wrote me the cutest things to say,
But now when I read those letters, words drift away.
Sorta hard to understand, yet so easy to know,
That I was love stoned from cupid's arrow.
Hey, we went through alot, though I didn't give up,
Two people grow with trust and love,
Sooner or later, I was of my drug.
I gave you up because I was a addicted to love.

Because you txt every night even though it pisses me off, You hate when I watch ABDC on the phone with you, & I love George Lopez > you.

LOVE,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Drift Away

2009-02-27T23:35:00.000-08:00

Fellow bloggers,

I'm sooo tired right now -_- , I don't wanna even blog right now, but yeah whatever. Anywhooo, today was a good day.. ish. I found out I have a B in Geometry :]]] praise the Lord ! The rest of the school day wasn't much to talk about.

Later on...

Went to Biblestudy and Kuya Jiereh taught us.. "We should not be killed by sin, Sin should be killed by us." Good lesson, even though I didn't have my bible xpp. KRISTINE'S BIG TOE ! It was good, eating and singing bendiction.

I never really thought about the words of "Bendiction" before, but they really touch your heart when you think deep into them, like just coming together and glorifying God, just a really amazing thing. Helping each other when you need help, and a shoulder to cry on. You know ? Real good love. "I pray tonight, as we learn from one another, may we glorify him. And if the Lord shall bring us back together, may we be in his arms till then."

After went to Mcdonalds, but didn't eat :] except iced coffee :D Kuya Jireh took me and Kristine home and that's about it. Good day to be alive.

I know, I sorta blog about God alot, but real amazing love. We sang Praise&Worship today and I really like some of the lyrics in the songs that we had. "Beautiful Jesus, Beautiful Savior, Nothing is greater, briliant Creator, Friend of mine."

Maybe my life be heck-tic around times, I might complain way too much from time to time and I might lose myself in my worries, but when it comes down to it all, we are just people. We all struggle, we all have our good times, we just need to live these lives of ours the right way.

"Take time to realize."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Content

2009-02-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about how we can be so content with ourselfs sometimes, but we never ask why are we. I don't like to be the one to complain, but I do anyways. I'm very content because I have friends and family that are there for me, I have God in my life, and there's more to life then this box. I finially figured out how to "Think outside the box", maybe it's a figure or speech, but how do I know that, I don't listen in English either. My friends, which means like 9 of you. (I don't consider people that aren't, for real ?) AKA people that I can be real with, I can pour out my thoughts and you wouldn't mind and take the time to listen. You mean the world to me, I have my close friends and my friends that I barely talk to, but you all make me think there's more than to just up, left, right or down. I miss alot of you guys, maybe we just grow up, you know ? I know alot of you miss " old times " or something like that, but we change, sometimes not for better, but it's all good. And some you, I don't have "old times" with, Thank you people at Walnut that keep me content at school, the 2 of you. My family, I've gotten closer to my brother and I'm just trying to live a normal teenage life, I could be in a worst situation, but I'm not the one to complain on this subject. I'm blessed with a "content" family. And God has been a big influence on my everyday life for awhile, and who am I to say anything, I know I can be a hypocrite at time, sorry for that and sorry in advance. But, I love God, till the end. So, I was just thinking, how we get through to the outside of this box, maybe because we all face the wall of it and you try to stay in. You leave alot of yourself in there, but it's better to be free then on lock down by your own conscious. I want to be more than content, I wanna be happy. And you wonder how do you become happy ? Well, I wonder too at times, I lose my head and forget. Why are you content ? Don't say that your not doing well, because there's more to life than this box that you purposly wanna be safe in. I don't have a comfort zone anymore, and I don't intend to have one, not now or ever.

thaazzwssup.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Lesson Learned

2009-02-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

So, our teacher for Conformation wasn't here today, so we went to this other guy's class.

1 word: WOW

He'll cuss you out in a second. . . soo, we all stood in a circle and held the cross and said "I'm special because.. " and I said "I'm special because I spread the gospel to my friends." And by the time we got to the end this girl was on the OTHER SIDE of the room, I HEARD - "I'm special because I'm royal" And I thought to myself wow stuck up much ? Agree ? And I said a little too loud, " Wow, who cares" And the teacher heard me and said, say it louder and I got this lesson no to "talk shit" So, I was crazy embarrased because I didn't even know this chick. And apparently, she said " I'm special because I'm loyal" I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL B*tCH ! Sorry girl I don't know. Rep is down the drain. The rest of the time, I got in trouble and to him I'm known as "Loyal girl"

Freakin' lesson learned today, I was so convicted ! I still feel bad even though I apologized in fron of everyone. Seriously, FML !

So, Lent is coming closer and even though I'm not Catholic, I'm still willing to give up something, It's not about if your Catholic or Christian or whatever, giving something up for Lent is to feel what Jesus felt when he was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, he was tempted and didn't fall into that, We give up to feel what he did. So I decided to give up something that will help me, not as to chocolate just because I like it and I don't wanna eat it anymore, I'm going to give up fast food. Keeps me healthier and if you know me, I have fast food like everyday :p , It'll benifit me to keep me healthy and my body is the temple of God and this will keep it from becoming BIG ! :] And also, I decided to take the responsiblity of No meat on Friday. To take up alot, gives you responsiblity.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Mada Fact !

2009-02-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

I haven't really been talking about my day lately soo, here I go :]

Sunday:
Pretty okay, I watched "Spectacular" and it was pretty legit x] , Went to St. Denis, Puente Hills Mall, Target & then my casa.

Monday:
I hate school x-q348536-, no one had school today -_- , anywhoo.. Today was a good day because I liked our 45 minute talk in 6th period today >.<

ANYWHOO, I leave you with this..

_________________________________________________________

Oh how I wish I could see the mirror image of my life,
But too bad I'm making my time too fast for sight.
Taking the steps to class for advantage of my own,
And by night I dance under lights with a cup of Patron.
Examining the highlights & lows that I endured,
I regret my actions and my tears show that I fear,
Fear the God of wrath that I know I deserve no love,
But he that awaits above and he is my anti-drug.
Showing mercy so loving, all I can do is ask to forgive,
And he opens my eyes once again,
Open the gates for a FIN.
Because those sins I put on him,
Showed this world to begin.
A different age of love and trust,
Because when you lack so much,
You forget what matters and is nothing to give,
The conversations that convict makes these beats live.
I stand next to you, as I look upon men,
Because I know if I am stuck in this situation again,
You will be my stronghold because I turned from my sin.

^
"I cost you NOTHING, so pay me NO mind."

Oh I'm looking for Inspiration, VACANCY !

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Simple&Clean

2009-02-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

School should be deleted, and more Weekend should be copied and pasted in this lifetime.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Sleepy Head

2009-02-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

5 in the morning, unexpected wake up @ the house.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

No title

2009-02-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Just an ordinary day.

Woke up, went to ceejay's, watched "House Bunny" <- SO FUNNY ! Went to Cue, ate at "The Boat", played at E-games, West Covina Mall.

6-10 day.

_________________________________________________________

So, it's starting to get to me again. I've learned to hate my Dad, forgive him & hate him even more. You will never disrespect my mom, brother or family ever again. This time those no way in hell I'll forgive you. Sometimes, I wish my mom never met you so she would be happy, I risk me ever being born, so she wouldn't have to deal with you.

Your a disgrace,
Get out of my life.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger

Sup Burn !

2009-02-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

Zune shuffle for 2 hours !

Anyways, today was a really really boring / hungry day.

I woke up, and I asked my mom to make me some bacon, spam and rice and she said " Your old enough to make your own breakfast, YOUR 15 " and I was like, okay okay.

So started cooking the rice, piece of cake and then I got to the bacon and I'm not really sure how to cook it, I just called Chelsea Bongolan to help me through it, and it tasted like SH*T. So I burned the first 3 pieces and I got more and I guess I put too much oil and I threw the strip on the pan and it splashed ! BURNED MY ARM !

The rest of the day was just sleep and church.

_________________________________________________________

*Things don't need titles*

Open your eyes to a different world,
Because all you do is stare in your perspective.
Understand there's more beyond your bedroom wall,
Stop thinking your small instead of tall.
This vision you try to understand won't help you,
Because you forget the logic of the word "two"
Your not alone because you know it in the back of your mind,
You push because you lose yourself after time,
Time and time you expect the best.
But, you try to make it even more complex,
then it is, Try to make the best of what you don't know,
Some people are a phone call away to show,
Who you are,
BECAUSE I NEVER COULD SEE SOMEONE SO HEARTLESS !

That's your logic, language of love.
But, it's a language you have yet to hear.
^
| BEE-EDS !

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger.

Cupid's Chokehold.

2009-02-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

MHM. Yes Valentine's day, another year without a Valentine.

No biggie, I'll coop.

But, I just spent the day with Ceejay & Joanna. Went to Puente Hills to watch "He's just not that into you." Good movie, except the fact that it sucks not having someone on this day and with that movie :p

for now,

F*CK LOVE !

So, I just felt like going on..

You know when you find that special someone, and you just don't wanna mess things up so bad, but somehow you end up making that person fall into someone else's love vortex. Yeah, actually, I wouldn't know. But, maybe expectations can be reached at this moment, or any moment.

P.S. For now, my heart doesn't beat.

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger