SUPkathleen: "I never feel that again.."

Take time to realize, that you are hurting yourself, your hurting the people around you.. your destroying your life & destroying the friendships that once held close to your heart. I can give a million excuses, I could defend us as much I want, but I'll never win, espcially if I don't change my attitude. I know I'm hard-headed, and I don't have much to defend myself. I'm stupid & young, I wanna adventure, but curiosity killed the cat.. too bad things hit faster than realization hitting yourself. My time is running out, and as time goes by I'm getting hit harder and harder. I try to believe that "I know.. I know" .. but truth is I have no idea, no clue & I just lose myself in words, actions & 2 lifes. I say my words & it seems like I'm lieing through my teeth, and I can't believe I am.. when I don't even realize I'm doing it. That's how far, that's how long it's been.. and that's how much I've been mourning over this. I hate running away from my problems, but I always end up falling into the cycle of my fears & hates, and I guess I've seem to tollerate them. Unfortunatly, these words & this blog won't do me any good, because this is just words & sentances. And they will get me no where, if I don't show any actions.