See the Spark

So, to a lot of you this might be just another blog of my "change" or "Amazing Encounter" but... this time, I REALLY want it to work, or I seriously clean up my act. I might be fooling myself right now, but I don't need to believe that burden is still on my shoulders, for I have burned it yesterday. It was time to "Let go & Let God" for that burden.. & soon, all my burdens. I still have some of the doubt, but the flame was dimmed by the tears I've cried, and NOW it's starting to build up again. Even though, I've heard the story before yesterday, I started to tear once I heard it again.

So, your in the desert. Your hot, your feet hurt, your face is dusty, you have a heavy pack on your back and the scorching heat is killing you.. you feel like you are about to collapse. Then all of a sudden, you see a house.. you think it's a mirage, but as you come closer to it, you see that it's real. You go up to the house, and knock. At the door is Jesus Christ, he invites you in. Gives you food, cleans you up and let's your rest. You feel refreshed. Your about to just go back to endure your journey once more, but Jesus says you have to do 3 things. He shows you to do a door and says "1st, think of all the people that have hurt you. The people that called you names, talked behind your back, left you in your time of need, lost your trust, hurt you physically & emotionally.. Now, forgive them." He opens the door, and you see all that hurt you. You forgive them all. Then Jesus brings you to another door. He says, "Now, think of all the people that you have hurt in the past, as vice versa to whatever someone has done to you.. Ask for their forgiveness." Jesus opens the door, and you see all the people you have ever hurt before, and you ask each one of them for their forgiveness. Then finally, Jesus shows you too a 3rd door, and says " you have to forgive one last person." and he opens the door. You look inside and all you can see is darkness. You start to search the room and as you go deeper into the room, you see someone far inside. You start to approach the person, but their back is turned to you. When you reach them, they turn around and it's yourself..

You come out and Jesus fills your pack with extra food and water for your journey. You step outside of the house, look back and wave at him as he waves back. And your journey begins once again.

That's just made me realized that I have to forgive myself for the hurt I have caused to myself, friends, and of course Christ. He has forgiven me already, and now I have to forgive myself. I know it's time to move on, because this journey is going to be a long one. There are SO many opportunities God gives me to open my eyes and see that he was here all along. I remember at the end of my burden, I wrote it really small. "I miss feeling close to God, I need you more then ever right now." All my accountability partners, all the people at SLYM, AE, and CFBC are the biggest blessings. I PTL for all of them. I think it's time to come home, where your love has ALWAYS been enough for me.

"But I can still see the spark
of His love in your eyes."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger