Trust.. just trust.

The worst 2 fuckin' days of my life. No sleep, much thinking done and too much of it.

I talked to a good friend today, about this whole situation, it felt good to talk it out because it's the only and last person I trust. I try not to go into detail because I don't think I'm ready to say what I need to and if she didn't notice, my voice started shaking. I'm thankful for that last person, hopefully she'll keep my trust.

Well, I have the satisfaction that I just don't know anymore. And I've seem to be pushed to "I don't care" anymore. I don't care about everyday, just wake up go to school, basketball, go home and sleep. I've seen there's not a point anymore. When I'm pierced, all the stupid BS and drama just fades just for a few seconds.. it's the only few seconds of the day I realize nothing. You know when you said.. "You only think about it when you want to think about it." ? I do, and I've come to notice that, in my situation it isn't the same. My mind is permanently stuck to this whole situation, crisis or whatever you may call it, issue. I start to rub my eyes every 5 minutes in class because it seems when they are pushed closed, nothing exist, I need to get away where reality can't find me.. it's hard to face facts.

I've gone through a hand full of people that I could rely on. And when I thought for certain, I feel stabbed in the back.. but more in the lower left of my stomach. I haven't learn anything in these past few days, I haven't been myself, I just don't know or care anymore.. well I try not to.

"I don't even know you,
You won't even know I'm gone."

Sincerely,
Kathleen Michelle Reichenberger